January 2018 Shopping Reflections

I hope that everyone's 2018 is off to a good start! This month was shopping-heavy, both as to my closet and as to beauty products. It wasn't even the post-Christmas sales, as most of my items weren't discounted. My shopping-related "goal" this year, to stick to things that bring me more of the "joy" I get from clothing, was something that could easily lead to  indulging. I don't like spring/summer clothes half as much as fall/winter ones, so hopefully I'm less likely to have shopping-heavy months later in the year.

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The biggest purchase this month was from, er, Taobao, which takes some explaining, as it's weird and would be a waste, if it doesn't go well. I can't, in good conscience, recommend others shop there, as it really is the "Wild West", filled with goods from both legitimate, independent small businesses in China on the one end as well as from... brazen violators of copyright laws on the other. (AliExpress and Taobao are both pretty aggressive about removing counterfeit product listings, by the way, but sellers relist frequently, so there's still a large volume of illegitimate business.) My sweater is from somewhere in between those extremes, it's unbranded, though it may be a knockoff, albeit not a very good one, if the celebrity street style photos they've included are anything to go by. Mine is only slightly slouchy and oversized, and lacks that "dramatically oversized for maximum cool factor" look the photos have. With anything on Taobao, shop at your own risk, generally only if there are many positive customer reviews with photos of the actual product, which was true of this sweater. It's also difficult for an international customer to buy direct, so I use an agent called Superbuy, which buys the item on my behalf, has it shipped to their warehouse, and then sends it to me, which gets expensive.

With regards to the beauty purchases, they were brought about by a "perfect storm" of events. A few months ago, I made the mistake of getting a straight perm that completely fried some of my hair. So far, the best solution is the extremely pricey Alterna Caviar Moisture shampoo and conditioner. It leaves my hair relatively knot-free and smooths away the frizz for about two days after each wash, much better results than a few other fancy shampoos and conditioners I tried. I needed a foundation refill. Then came the cold snap earlier this month, which left my skin suddenly dry and irritated, enough to cause additional breakouts, which required adding several products to my dermatologist-mandated minimal routine of the last several months. Predictably, the cold snap lifted and my skin got less fussy almost as soon as the refills arrived. 

Fashion - (TOTAL: $287.40)

• Taobao Cashmere Turtleneck Sweater - $65.00 + $35.00 shipping - I adore this sweater. It's luxuriously thick compared to most US retail sweaters in this price range, and I was pleasantly surprised that I could wear a turtleneck and find it flattering. I usually avoid turtlenecks for fear they'd awkwardly emphasize my chest. One can't generally trust a seller's representations about materials on Taobao, though price can be an indicator. If it's "too good to be true" cheap, then it probably isn't genuine leather, wool, or what have you. I'm not able to conclusively prove this is cashmere, but it feels right and behaves the same way as my other cashmere items. (Among other things, it's moderately quick to pill.) 
• Mejuri Zodiac Necklace, Libra - $89.00* - This is an indulgence, but I had browsed the site a few months ago and been quite taken by the Zodiac necklaces. They've come in and out of stock a few times since, and I decided to go for it. It's exactly what I expected from the product description and photos, and I'm satisfied with it. 
• Uniqlo High-Rise Cigarette Jeans - $39.90 - I've previously implied that one pair of jeans is enough for me, including when my old Rag & Bone skinny jeans (similar) developed a hole in the rear. Since then, I've eaten my words. I'd gotten rid of that ancient pair of sag-prone Uniqlo skinny jeans barely a few months before, because I hadn't worn them out since getting the Rag & Bones, except maybe on a laundry day or two. But I sure missed having my "backup" jeans after the other pair was gone. We have casual Fridays now, and I desperately missed having jeans these past few Fridays. Because I didn't like Uniqlo's current mid-rise skinny jeans, and the petite Gap skinny jeans I wanted were backordered most of this month, I got these high-rise, more straight leg jeans to tide me over. They're different enough that they'll still have a use when I finally have my new skinny jeans, and it's probably good for me to experiment with different jean silhouettes? They run big (I could wear a 26, though I'm a 27 or 28 for the higher cotton content skinny jeans I've been trying), and stretch out a fair bit between washes, though I don't mind because they weren't meant to have a super-skinny fit in the first place. Oddly enough, these don't require hemming on my short for 5'3'' legs, which could make them strangely cropped on others. 
• Nordstrom Tissue Weight Wool and Cashmere Scarf - $59.40 - Between this and the last  Nordstrom scarf I bought, in silk-cashmere blend, I have a soft spot for Nordstrom's store-brand scarves when they're on sale. This one is very lightweight, but that's adequate for me. I often don't like thicker scarves because they add bulk around my chest. I actually find both the floaty, extremely lightweight silk-cashmere and this wool-cashmere blend similarly warm enough for most temperatures. (Neither is enough for the coldest days, but I deal with those by zipping up my down coat's knit collar, so I don't need a scarf at all.) 

Beauty - (TOTAL: $144.40) 

• Lancome Teint Idole Ultra Cushion Foundation - $51.00* - I'd been frustrated with my Nars Tinted Moisturizer because I preferred something with a more matte finish, and ended up trying this months ago when my mom bought one during a buy one get one free promotion. This definitely has a matte finish, and is also heavier coverage than the Nars Tinted Moisturizer. The cushion style makes it extremely easy to apply, but it also runs out quickly, maybe after around four months of roughly twice a week use, give or take. It also oxidizes a bit during the day. By all rights, I should have shopped for another foundation instead, because it's quite expensive, but maybe next time. 
• Alterna Caviar Moisture Duo Set - $62.06* - This is pricey, and the bottles fairly small. My hair is in a strange state, and most of the shampoos and conditioners I've tried are incapable of helping, so one could say I was desperate. I think this could weigh down and cause excessive oiliness in hair that's in good health, but for me, right now, this has been the best thing. Note that it isn't a miracle product, I still have frizzy days, but generally only a full day or two after washing. 
• CosRx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence - $14.04 - Best price generally from Amazon. This is great for light moisture and soothing skin that's a little prone to irritation due to topical retinoids or acids. It has an odd, sticky texture, which I attribute to the "snail mucin" content. 
• CosRx Advanced Snail 92 All in One Cream - $17.30 - Best price generally from Amazon. This doesn't add much moisture on its own, and it's more a gel moisturizer than a cream, but it is also good for layering on moisture and soothing skin that's currently prone to irritation due to topical retinoids or acids, on bad days where the weather and climate have exacerbated dryness and irritation. Like the snail essence, this also has an odd sticky texture.

* Includes shipping and/or sales tax. For both Mejuri and Taobao purchases, shipping ends up particularly expensive. 

Did you find much in the post-Christmas sales? Do you also change up your skincare routine in the winter? Have you, er, ever shopped from Taobao, and/or it's more accessible cousin, AliExpress? I think those platforms are mostly fine so long as one isn't buying from copyright/trademark violators, but I don't know if everyone would agree. In any case, many random, unbranded items on Amazon, say, most of those acrylic makeup storage drawers, are from similar China-based sellers (or from US-based sellers who got their product from said China-based sellers). 

Sunday Reading: On Shopping Bans, Fasts, and Freezes

via Racked

By now, almost everyone has likely read Ann Patchett's New York Times piece on her "Year of No Shopping". My reaction to the piece was initially more skeptical than I expected, given that it aligns perfectly with my interest in "minimalism-ish", as well as my fondness for lighter, more accessible (and not necessarily comprehensive) introductions to bigger, difficult topics. For instance, I love Marie Kondo's first book, even if, by most standards, it's a "baby steps only" introduction to only a portion of the ideas that fall under the minimalism umbrella. In the personal finance area, I'm fine with beginners' books, and I'm not sure most people, myself included, need much more than that. 

First things first, there's nothing wrong with the piece itself. It's well-written, not at all annoying or preachy, and by introducing a broad audience to the idea that less is more, and that we likely all need  far less than we currently consume, it's doing positive work. At the same time, I was taken aback by just how... easy she made it seem. It wasn't even just a fashion shopping ban! By late January, she had made it broader. As she says, "while I couldn’t buy clothing or speakers, I could buy anything in the grocery store, including flowers. I could buy shampoo and printer cartridges and batteries but only after I’d run out of what I had. I could buy plane tickets and eat out in restaurants. I could buy books." Sensible enough, not the most restrictive, but far more than just a fashion shopping ban. 

I suppose my main reason for skepticism is that I'm not sure a shopping ban or shopping fast, any set of what's likely to be somewhat arbitrary rules for an arbitrary period of time, is going to be the best way to get the benefits that she describes.

First, there were some lessons on "wants" versus "needs", how "If you want something, wait awhile. Chances are the feeling will pass" and "Once I got the hang of giving shopping up, it wasn’t much of a trick. The trickier part was living with the startling abundance that had become glaringly obvious when I stopped trying to get more. Once I could see what I already had, and what actually mattered, I was left with a feeling that was somewhere between sickened and humbled. When did I amass so many things, and did someone else need them?" This is where the enthusiastic KonMari fan in me comes in, I suppose, because by early 2015, having gone through a round of KonMari decluttering (which worked for everything but my closet, which I had decluttered many times before, and from which I still haven't let go of everything I don't actually wear, much of which I haven't in fact worn since 2015), I felt like I'd already learned that lesson, as to everything but the things in my closet.

Post-KonMari, I gave away the majority of my furniture and various other non-closet things when moving out after graduating law school. Since then, I've been careful and deliberate about new acquisitions of furniture, kitchen tools, all those sorts of things. Heck, I sometimes go too far. After our wooden cutting boards got permanently warped due to improper maintenance, I agonized over whether to buy replacements, and which replacements to buy, for more than a year and a half before I felt like I knew what the right choice was, and how I'd care for the next set.

Second, she derived a related personal finance lesson from the experience, how, "[t]he things we buy and buy and buy are like a thick coat of Vaseline smeared on glass: We can see some shapes out there, light and dark, but in our constant craving for what we may still want, we miss life’s details. . . . I came to a better understanding of money as something we earn and spend and save for the things we want and need." That sounds like what I experienced when I started budgeting, and tracking every single transaction, around the time I started blogging, using You Need a Budget (software that is now subscription-only, but the approach is simple and could be replicated in Excel). I wasn't always using YNAB properly, but that "better understanding" of money was there.

By tracking every transaction I quickly learned that some of my money was disappearing into a void, being spent on things I didn't want or need, a combination of (a) Sephora purchases as stress relief, often rounded out with an extra add-on item to get to the free shipping threshold, (b) Amazon purchases every time I thought of a new vague thing to try, and (c) Amazon and/or Drugstore.com (they had reliably great prices compared to brick and mortar drugstores in NYC) purchases to stock up unnecessary and excessive quantities of cleaning products and other household items, some of which I gave away when I moved out and some of which, in the case of more compact items like dish soap, I only finished using nearly two years later. So I stopped those things almost immediately, and it was easy because the purchases weren't adding real value to my life.

I suppose the other main reason for my skepticism was, in the end, that it sounded too easy. Given how long I've been reading minimalism blogs, it's probably not surprising that I've read tons of posts about shopping bans, fasts, and freezes over the years. Many of them were "no shopping" for months at a time long before KonMari was cool. And actually, over time, it often proves extremely difficult to simply stop shopping for any extended period of time. I've tried no less than twice, just as to my closet, with no success, though I have an occasional month of no shopping, once in a long while, usually because I was busy with something else (at that time, final exams). The most common "success" scenario I've seen is when someone looks back and realizes, several months on, that without even trying, they hadn't shopped for a certain length of time because they hadn't seen anything they liked, or because they were otherwise occupied.

Maybe there are lessons there, though, in how "easy" Patchett's essay made it seem. The way she writes it, she was much more gentle on herself than many of us tend to be, when there are slip-ups or exceptions made, which she describes as happening a few times. She didn't dwell on it, just moved on and continued working on the larger goal for the rest of the year. That's a useful mindset. Also, for the USA-dwellers among us, American society may be more consumerist, at least when compared to the other societies I'm familiar with. We have more in the way of "big box stores" or places like Costco, where we buy in bulk to save and, in the suburbs at least, more in the way of space to store the excess. If one's starting point is an average American consumption habit, then of course it'll be easier to scale down the shopping, and work on the backlog of soap, paper towels, and dental floss that's already in one's pantry or bathroom cabinet.

What did you think about Patchett's piece? When I started this entry quite a few weeks ago, I thought I'd have more to say, but as I kept reworking this draft, I realized I wasn't able to add much that was new to the discussion. Oh well! 

Current "Wish List"

In the years since I started being more conscious about my shopping, I've found that the best way to be confident in my purchases is to plan them out well in advance, usually by at least a few weeks, if not months. The process that's preceded my best purchases, based on cost-per-wear and actual utility for price (different criteria from how I select my "best buys" each year, which is for items that were a successful experiment, something a little out of my comfort zone that ended up working well), generally involves mulling over an item for at least a few weeks until a good sale, or until I can no longer resist. I often have a running "wish list" written down somewhere, either in a Google Drive spreadsheet or, these days, in my notebook.

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Not everything on my "wish list" make it into my closet. Out of, say, the last sample of five such items I wrote about, in the guise of trying out a "Five Piece French Wardrobe" approach, I only followed through with probably three and a half: a down coat (though not either of the frontrunners), skinny jeans, the breton striped shirt (from J.Crew Factory), and black leather Vans instead of a leopard-printed slip-on sneaker, which I couldn't find. Sometimes, items that I consider for a long time end up completely forgotten and fall off my list, including that olive green parka for spring and fall. More recently, around Thanksgiving, I developed a sudden and irrational desire for the Lo & Sons Waverly bag, even though it was likely too small to be practical for me, and I have several other similarly-sized bags. That particular craving took weeks to subside.

My current "wish list" is as follows: 

• Dark Wash Skinny Jeans: My Rag & Bone skinny jeans (similar) lasted approximately two years before developing holes, and I've been in the market for a new pair of jeans since. Many people chimed in with helpful suggestions, and I ended up deciding to stick to Uniqlo or Gap. I'm not a huge fan of Uniqlo's current selection, so I'll be ordering and trying on Gap's selection of petite-length, dark wash, mid-rise skinny jeans (probably these or these), though one color I like was backordered, so the process has taken a while.
• Dainty Opal Ring: This has been on my shopping list for years, but I've never felt ready to purchase, even though I've bought other, similarly priced or more expensive items since. I originally wanted a simple opal solitaire like this one from Polamai on Etsy, which could have been around $200, but more recently, I've become interested in more elaborate (and expensive) designs like the Wwake organic triangle ring or the Wwake four-step ring, or maybe the Jennie Kwon Reese ring. 
• More Colorful Formal Dress: This particular item is not likely to pan out, but after wearing that blue Ann Taylor lace shift dress for no less than four different weddings last year, I started getting bored, and maybe feeling a little frumpy. (It's a pretty dress, but has no "wow" factor and fits a little loose. It's ultimately better suited for work than a party.) Except that, even after window-shopping for months, including by scouring through pages and pages of dresses on TheRealReal, I haven't seen anything I actually want to buy. Heck, I even had trouble finding one I liked solely as an illustration for this post, with no need to consider cost or practicality! I had other formal dress options in my closet, but none I was eager to wear. There was a bright purple Diane von Furstenberg Zarita dress I ended up sending to Thredup because I didn't like the way it fit (its very stretchy and body-skimming, and doesn't have much structure) and the Anthropologie Baikal dress, which maybe feels like too much "look", and isn't very "me" anymore. 
• Mansur Gavriel Large Tote: One of the changes at my new workplace is that I no longer bring a laptop to and from the office every day. The result is that my Everlane Petra Market tote, which was the perfect size for my old firm and has softened up a bit over time, now feels overly large and floppy to be my go-to work bag. A new work bag is an extravagance when I have other bags that still fulfill the purpose, but I think the Mansur Gavriel large tote, particularly in the fairly structured vegetable-tanned leather, would be the perfect size, as it looks a bit smaller and more compact than either the Petra Market or a Longchamp Le Pliage large (see other blog's comparison photos here). I think I'd get the black with ballerina pink interior, as that's more neutral than the more common red interior. 

What's on your closet "wish list" at the moment? How do you plan out your clothing purchases? Although this shopping process isn't new to me, I was inspired, several months ago now, to revisit this topic by Michelle's post about her then-current list. I then got distracted by other topics, and finally got around to finishing this draft. 

2018: No Longer Coasting

via Pinterest

Working hard to accomplish challenging goals isn't something that comes naturally to me. As a child, I was a "smart slacker" - which is definitely not "smart". Many things came easily, particularly standardized test scores. Plenty of things I valued did not, however, come so easily, including my overall academic performance, which often lagged behind my abilities. I was, at least, capable of learning, to see the writing on the wall when I was letting complacency get the best of me, and to sit down and work hard to reverse that. Except that I didn't learn that much, because I repeated this pattern in both college and high school. (I didn't repeat it in law school because first-year grades are of pivotal importance, for biglaw especially. One hopes to be recruited for a post-graduation job the summer before 2L year. Failure could be catastrophic.) All of which is a long way of saying, I have a history of "coasting", trying to take it easy or goof off, when I think I can get away with it. 

Until recently, I didn't think about this much in context of my personal goals, outside of school. I was great with my 2016 New Years' resolutions, for instance, though I picked them specifically because they were manageable. My concrete plans for my money were things I knew, from K's recent experience, to be realistic. My workout scheduling plans were less ambitious than I'd accomplished at other stages in my life, albeit less busy ones than when I was in biglaw. I saw them as "baby steps" to help me adapt to working life. 

For 2017 though, the less said about my resolutions, the better. I'd gone around commenting on other people's 2018 New Years' goals entries, earnestly explaining that although I did a good job, I still felt dissatisfied, and so I needed to overhaul my approach. Only the latter part of that was true. I didn't actually remember any of my broader, more thematic ideas for 2017, and I absolutely didn't remember the suggested applications for those broader goals. If I didn't even remember the goals, I obviously wasn't accomplishing them!

Regardless, throughout 2017, I often felt that I was "coasting", taking it easier than I wanted, or was capable of, like I wasn't challenging myself, and wasn't growing. I was satisfied with what I accomplished at the office, always dealing with new projects, but outside of that, I felt a bit stagnant. The most concrete example was in the physical fitness area. I generally worked out three to four times a week, often with fairly long cardio workouts, but that is often not the most efficient approach. And so, as my body changed (perhaps due to my age, I'll be 30 this year), and as I struggled with my "supercommute" (which required moving my natural sleep schedule up by about two hours), things... weren't great. I sized myself out of some clothes, among other things. I often felt sluggish, like I wasn't taking the best care of myself. 

All of that was a really, really long way of saying that I'm changing my approach to long-term goals this year. I need a longer list of very concrete goals, with more frequent check-ins, and some amount of flexibility, if an initial idea isn't working as well as I thought. So they're not just "2018 goals" or resolutions anymore, as I'll be working through different goals by the week, or by the month. I don't, therefore, currently have a full list of the things that I want to accomplish this year, and the list is subject to change at any time, but here are some of the things I'm working towards in 2018:

• Starting now, rededicate myself to more conscious budgeting, likely using the "You Need a Budget" or "YNAB" method. Despite tracking every transaction for years now, I still felt like I wasn't being very conscious about my budgeting. I'd lose track of transactions, and had discrepancies of up to $100 in some accounts, due to my own accounting errors. I also wasn't following the "rules" of YNAB, as I entered my income at the start of every month and budgeted right away, rather than waiting for my paychecks. This violates Rule One, "give every dollar (that you actually have) a job" and Rule Four, "live on last month's income," a built in one month emergency fund or "buffer". Despite my efforts, I didn't feel in control of my budget. I've started following the YNAB rules, and will reevaluate if that isn't enough. 
• By the end of January, refinance my student loans. This is a very obvious way to save money, for anyone with a substantial student loan balance.  When pooled together, my law school loans had an interest rate of approximately 7%. Refinancing tends to result in a fixed interest rate of 2.5% to 4.0%, depending on the company and the repayment term, or slightly lower variable rates. I couldn't refinance when I first graduated, as I needed federal income-based repayment while I was clerking. I've submitted my paperwork, so I'm all set. 
• By February or March, start a workout routine that pushes me constantly. I've started by doing shorter cardio workouts, followed by a pilates session, currently one of Blogilates's/Cassey Ho's earlier beginner videos. (At this stage, because it's been so long since I've done pilates, getting through that is a challenge!) I'll likely mix in other things soon, follow some of the tips you've been kind enough to give me over the years, including by trying Fitness Blender videos. I might eventually hire a personal trainer for a few sessions. (I've proven time and time again that I'm terrible about attending classes, even expensive ones I prepaid for, so that method of adding to my workout routine is likely not on my agenda.) 
• Identify and take steps towards being low-waste. This is something I move very slowly on, but I started late last year by stopping my use of disposable paper and plastic cups at the office. Planned next steps include using (a) wax food wraps instead of saran wrap and (b) washable, reusable cotton rounds for face cleansing. I'll be on the lookout for other things I can do. 
• Keep on keeping on at work. I've always worked very hard to ensure that the bad habit of trying to coast doesn't sneak into my professional life. I put a lot into being a good junior attorney, and I'll continue to do so. 

What are your goals for 2018? Anyone else relate to the "smart slacker" thing? It was a common lament among my high school and college peers. We went to good, somewhat competitive public high schools, but weren't really challenged by the coursework, so we got used to relatively low effort for good results. College then proved to be a different animal, where putting in diligent hard work was a necessary component of the success we wanted. Learning how to focus wasn't always easy! There was much trial and error.