First Trimester Maternity Clothing Shopping Reflections

As promised, I've finally put together my first trimester maternity wear shopping reflections, for items I ordered in April and May, before I was ready to announce the pregnancy! Not all these items are explicitly labeled maternity wear, actually, but for the ones not so categorized, I didn't think I'd be able to explain them without pointing to the pregnancy. 

In general, I've found that my body has changed very quickly with pregnancy, much faster and just more in all the relevant ways and dimensions than expected. Heck, I think my bust went up a full cup size super-early in my first trimester. And now that I'm solidly in the second trimester - particularly as I get into the later weeks - the changes progress even more quickly and noticeably, and often seem to pop up suddenly. 

For instance, in week 13, practically overnight, there was an undeniable bump, albeit one that was pretty small in the mornings, until I got bloated throughout the day. Around weeks 18 to 19, suddenly the bump felt huge most of the time, particularly on weekdays when I walk to and from the office. After week 21, the bump was huge all the darn time. I can only imagine that because the baby is to grow exponentially in the next 18 weeks or so, from roughly a pound at 22 weeks now to something likely more than 5.5 pounds - maybe a lot more - the physical changes will continue to escalate more quickly than I can currently imagine!

I recently discussed how, until I got pregnant, I was worried I'd have tons of anxiety about body image and all the inevitable changes to my body from pregnancy. As it turns out, this pregnancy also seems to have rewired my brain to worry and stress much less about almost everything in life, so I haven't been too, too bothered by all this so far. 

But I must admit I find shopping for maternity wear extremely annoying. Part of it is I'm frustrated that I've proven not good at predicting all the body shape changes I need to take into account when buying non-maternity clothes with more relaxed fits which I thought would work for my pregnant body. Also, it certainly caused consternation that many of my pre-pregnancy predictions for how long I'd be able to wear my looser-fitting clothing from my existing wardrobe turned out quite wrong. I didn't expect that basically my entire collection of business casual dresses, especially those secondhand J.Crew Presentation dresses - which are not too snug in the bust and have lots of room otherwise - would be uncomfortable and essentially unwearable by week 7 or so. 

Furthermore, I find that the value for money and variety of designs available in the maternity wear market, at least for US-based customers, is significantly worse than I'm used to as a customer. I guess I've become super-picky about my clothing throughout my years of keeping this blog and spending lots of time thinking about - and sometimes overthinking - my shopping and what works for my lifestyle and my personal style preferences!

There's so much viscose and rayon jersey in maternity wear, materials I'm definitely not fully opposed to, but that I don't prefer because of a history of unpredictable issues with durability, unexpected shrinkage, or other trouble when machine-washed. (Keep in mind I'm pretty careful with my laundry, washing only in cold water and generally in a mesh bag to protect the clothes; I also never put viscose or rayon items in the dryer either, I always air-dry.) Many of those viscose or rayon maternity items also feel quite overpriced - especially from Hatch Maternity, ouch - even if I try to shop on sale. 

Also, I find many common design elements in maternity wear... dispiriting. (I know, I know, I'm starting to sound whiny, and maybe a bit unreasonable.) I generally hate ruching and peplums. I don't like empire waists on tops (though I'm okay with them on dresses). I'm not fond of super-stretchy items that will feel like they're stretching tightly over the curves of the body. The prints that are available tend to be quite dull and generic, particularly the florals. The colors available can be limited and sometimes... odd. 

Personal Style Thoughts: Without Fails ("WOFs")

My Elizabeth Suzann Ella slip dress (mine is navy, not black) is one of my "Without Fails" or "WOFs".

For today's post, I thought I'd talk about some of the things I've learned from Amy Smilovic's Instagram stories about her approach to personal style, shopping, and wardrobe-building. Her style is definitely not the same as mine - it's a lot more fashion-forward, creative, and adventurous by any objective measure - but I believe her way of thinking about these topics can still be extremely inspirational to someone building towards a style that ends up looking quite different from hers. (Oh and keep in mind that my paraphrasing of her personal style concepts throughout this post - in the way I understand them - may not be completely precise and accurate to what she actually means to say.) 

This article does a pretty good job briefly summarizing most of the basics with Smilovic's approach. Smilovic describes her style - embodied in her brand Tibi - as "Creative Pragmatism", with the three elements or "style adjectives" of Chill, Modern, Classic each weighted equally. 

Her Instagram stories over time have given a lot more detail about what each of these style adjectives mean to her. "Chill" is seen in the silhouettes and overall look; it often also incorporates elements of functionality and comfort, including through the use of fabrics that feel good and move and flow well, sometimes in natural fibers or natural fiber blends. "Modern" is often where the fashion-forward design elements come in, and can also include mixing proportions and fabric textures in outfits, or using unexpected materials or details to add tension or irony to the item or look. "Classic" in Smilovic's framework is more difficult for me to pinpoint and articulate because I know she doesn't like things overly classic, it always needs to be balanced out by the other elements. 

To the extent Smilovic's style adjectives apply to me, I'm more Chill, Modern, Classic. 

That's extra-large font for the "Chill" because I love for things to be comfortable and thus functional, and I sometimes prioritize function over form with that interest in mind; a medium-sized font for the "Classic" because I err on the side of classic and conservative in many of my fashion choices; and I wish I could make the font for "Modern" even smaller because, in the end, that's not really an important style adjective for me. I do appreciate the more "Modern" and unexpected details in the Tibi items I've purchased to date, but overall that's not something I really seek out or need all the time, or in every outfit. Maybe I'd swap out a word like whimsical or fun instead of modern for my personal list? But those terms aren't exactly right for me either.

I haven't really been able to think of my own personal list of core style adjectives yet. Chill or easygoing is definitely one of mine, but I'm honestly not that sure about anything else. 

That's an incredibly long introduction to the main focus of today's post, which isn't even supposed to be about these style adjectives! Instead, what I actually wanted to write about today was Smilovic's approach to shopping and building a wardrobe. That part of her approach focuses on three types of items: (1) "Without Fails" or "WOFs"; (2) "In and Outs" or "IOs"; and (3) "Had to Haves" or "HTHs". 

2020 Year-End Shopping Reflections Revisited

Now that NYC is almost fully reopen and I'm back in the office at least a few days each week, I'm slowly returning to being able to more accurately evaluate my 2020 purchases based on what I actually like to wear when I don't spend essentially all my time at home, in the interest of public health and COVID safety. In that light, I'm starting to find that, maybe... I wasn't making the best shopping decisions for my wardrobe last year. 

I was aware of this possibility when I wrote my original year-end shopping reflections post for 2020. I refrained from doing my usual analysis to classify my purchases as good, middling, or unwise choices using red, yellow, or green dots - like I've done for 2019 and the period from 2015 through most of 2018 - because I knew I wouldn't be able to do any real analysis before I was able to move freely out in the world again. I couldn't meaningfully "road test" any of my new clothes or accessories or think about their actual functionality for my life outside the home if I wasn't really going anywhere except for a once-monthly trip to the grocery store. 

But now things are getting back to normal here in NYC: I'm going back to the office most weekdays, and K and I are comfortable with dining indoors at restaurants again, including with friends from other households. We're also comfortable with traveling to visit friends or family without quarantining beforehand. (The vast majority of our friends and family and even my close work colleagues do not have young children under 12 in their households, or any other household members who cannot receive the vaccine, which probably makes it much easier for us to just jump straight back in to something resembling "normal" pre-pandemic life with remarkable speed.) 

With all that, I feel like I'm now able to start evaluating my purchases from my usual perspective, taking into account my personal style preferences and actual day-to-day lifestyle in "normal" times. 

(Very Belated) 2019 Year-End Shopping Reflections

Now here's a post that's a year overdue! I'll admit, it feels silly to look back now on lessons learned from 2019 - particularly about something as light as my wardrobe and shopping - when we know, in hindsight, that it's soon to be followed by the postscript of the dramatic changes wrought by 2020 and the COVID-19 pandemic. 

But in the end, this type of shopping reflection is the original focus of my blog. Also, I really do think I came into my own in 2019 with regards to knowing and understanding my fashion tastes and preferences. Even if, starting in March 2020, I then had to learn yet another set of tastes and preferences to accommodate my new - even if temporary - work-from-home lifestyle.

Before getting into the shopping-focused analysis, some words about the larger, mostly financial context: April 2019 was when I first hit "net worth zero" - my student loan balance was finally equal to my cash savings and investments - nearly four years after graduating law school. (If I hadn't delayed my repayment progress by nearly two years due to the pay cut I took while clerking, I would probably have finished paying off my loans by April 2019. But that's not the career path I've chosen.) Then, in late December 2019, my student loan balance dropped below six figures for the first time, which really made it feel like the end was in sight. Since then, I've continued to ratchet up my monthly student loan payments, I now pay $5,100/month. Assuming no significant disruptions to my income, I'm now on track to finish paying off my loans in August 2021.

My total spending on my closet in 2019 - as documented monthly here - was $4,409.33, a personal all-time high. Totals for previous years were $2,729 (2015), $1,945.99 (2016), $2,883.13 (2017), and $4,016.51 (2018), as listed in my 2018 year-end shopping reflections post. I could even argue that most of my rather jaw-dropping January 2020 shopping should more properly be attributed to December 2019, as these were almost all post-Christmas sale purchases I ordered before the end of the year, though they arrived after. This would drive my 2019 total up even further. 

For all that I've been facing the prospect of, and then slowly chipping away at, a massive - initially over $190,000 total - student loan balance the entire time I've kept this blog, I've never been too worried about how much I spend on my wardrobe. Sure, the year-end totals look - and, in fact, often are - extravagant, given that my net worth was negative until April 2019. But whenever I've had a private-sector income - for four years out of the past five - I've always devoted well over half my take-home pay to "net worth positive" activities, a.k.a. loan repayment or savings and investments. Furthermore, with the exception of 2015, each year's total spend on clothes, shoes, and accessories is generally less than just a single a month's worth of student loan payments I'm making at the time, or would soon be making. 

And, as you'll see once I get into the nitty-gritty analysis of my 2019 purchases, I knew my fashion tastes and preferences well. There were no significant mistake purchases or shopping regrets that, in hindsight, I should have seen coming. 

May 2020 Shopping Reflections

I originally planned to publish this post on May 29, but it was clear to me that, due to the protests occurring nationwide to rightfully seek justice for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and so many others, it was not an appropriate time to talk about shopping. Instead, I posted about concrete actions I took in order to stand against anti-Black racism and police violence. I have now made the remaining $50 in monetary donations to these causes I promised, bringing my total donations to $354.30. To round out the total, I made a donation to the Black Mamas Matter Alliance, in recognition of the racial disparities in maternal mortality rates in the US, as well as an additional donation to the GoFundMe in support of Breonna Taylor's family.

My words and actions in support of the fight against anti-Black racism will not be meaningful if I do not commit to making it an ongoing, long-term priority. Monetary donations to anti-racist causes and making a conscious effort to support Black-owned businesses and creators will be part of what I write about here, as I've discussed. I'll check in periodically about those efforts.

As public discussions emerge about certain companies that have engaged in particularly egregious employment discrimination against Black employees and other non-white employees, I will try to do what I can as a consumer to promote better practices. Most recently, I will not be watching any more Bon Appetit YouTube videos until they (1) give backpay to many of the non-white employees appearing in their past videos and (2) compensate those employees for their appearances in new videos going forward (see discussions here and here, among many other places). I will be writing to Conde Nast to inform them of this. I should note upfront that my efforts in this area will necessarily be imperfect and incomplete, as employment discrimination is rampant.

Another part of my anti-racism work is continuing to do what I can to promote diversity and inclusion in the legal profession, but how best to do that is... a difficult and complicated question because large swaths of the industry are still an extremely conservative old boys' club. I ultimately lasted less than a full year in biglaw because I could not endure the obvious disparity between the opportunities given to the white male associates in my class year and practice group and the scraps left to the women and nonwhite associates in our class.

* * * * * 

Last month, my brain was still a bit kooky from continued social distancing. My sleep schedule continued to be all over the place and I remained unable to consistently read for fun. I had an occasional day here and there where I could manage a chapter or two, but those days were rare.

For significant portions of May, I wasn't that busy at work, which, for a private sector attorney, can be some cause for concern. Given my background, I tend to always be more paranoid than strictly necessary when it comes to things like potential layoffs, salary cuts, and the like, so I may be starting to worry more about eventual disruptions to my job security and income. Leadership at my workplace was likely not fully anticipating that we wouldn't be back to "business as usual" anytime this summer. (Here in NYC, I also wouldn't personally expect to resume complete "business as usual" by fall.) Furthermore, some additional non COVID-19 related events occurred that would significantly reduce our business for the foreseeable future. It's not the most stable time for me, professionally speaking.

I'm nervous, but also deeply grateful that our household has yet to see any disruptions to our job security and income. If anything should happen, it'll be quite some time before we actually need to worry: K and I are both extremely conservative when it comes to cash savings, and had each independently accumulated emergency funds far exceeding mainstream recommendations of three to six months' living expenses. (My emergency fund takes into account ~$1,600/month in minimum payments for my refinanced student loans. If I made only that minimum payment each month, it would take me four more years to pay off my remaining student loan balance.)

Looking back, I don't think there's anything significant we'd have done differently with our finances in recent years* if we'd known this was coming, except that we've always splurged a bit overmuch on rent. But we're also really appreciating our in-unit laundry now that we try to avoid communal spaces in our building as much as possible. That's a perk we pay maybe ~$100-$150/month extra for, based on my highly nonscientific comparison of prices for comparable units in our neighborhood, with and without in-unit laundry. 

In the past four weeks or so, I seem to have turned a bit of a corner when it comes to my online shopping habits. This time in April, online window-shopping (which then turned into actual shopping) was the only thing I had the mental energy for in the late evenings. It was still bringing me some entertainment and small sparks of joy, however briefly and superficially. Nowadays, online window-shopping is no longer soothing and no longer makes me feel better about the state of the world, however temporarily.

Anyway, I can't guarantee I'll stay away from shopping for the rest of NYC's continuing COVID-19 shutdowns. (Phase one of NYC's reopening began on June 8, but it's very limited.) I'd be satisfied if, in the next few months, I bought an average of, say, one item a month instead of three. And I'd prefer to spend my dollars on items from small businesses as much as possible. I've done okay with that last part, my biggest recent purchases have been from Elizabeth Suzann and Babaa, both small companies. Going forward, I'd also like to make it a priority to support Black-owned small businesses, though I've not yet done so when it comes to fashion purchases. (So far, I've purchased loose leaf tea from Blk & Bold Specialty Beverages and books from The Lit Bar's Bookshop page.)

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My social distancing experience has been characterized by wild mood swings about all kinds of things, so it's generally difficult to predict how I'll feel and how I'll do things going forward. But since the second half of May, I've been good about staying away from online window-shopping in a way that suggests I might not be buying quite as much clothes and accessories in the foreseeable future as I have in the months since March. Though before I got to that point, I was still doing a lot of shopping in May, as one can see from this month's tally.

Fashion - (TOTAL: $524.74)

• Elizabeth Suzann Bel skirt, silk crepe, black - $245.00 - This purchase was technically made in late April, the day Elizabeth Suzann ("ES") announced this iteration of the company would close. But I'd already finished writing last month's shopping post, so I'm reporting this as a May purchase. That day, ES took orders for a last set of items they would make - along with March purchases, including mine - once their state government allows them to resume work at their warehouse. ES reached capacity quickly. This was the final item from their current product line that I was still interested in, it'd been pinned to my wish list a long time. It's difficult to predict how this purchase will ultimately turn out, as long and somewhat voluminous skirts don't always suit me because I'm short. (I ordered the size M, short length.) If the Bel skirt ends up not working on me, I understand there's still a robust secondary market for ES, so I'd likely be able to recoup a large percentage of what I spent without too much trouble. 
• Babaa No. 15 jumper, oak - $208.14 - Between this and April's Babaa purchase (both with the 15% discount code offered through early May), it's probably clear that I'm extremely influenced by the super-stylish Erica. Last time, I ordered an item she'd recently posted, but in a different color. This time, I ordered an exact copy of something she's posted frequently. I swear I'm not being creepy! I just really like her fashion sense... As with the lounge set, the craving for this came out of left field. The combination of intentionally and dramatically oversized design plus super-chunky knit wasn't something I'd ever considered before. But all the uncertainty caused by COVID-19 made me want to wrap myself in a giant sweater at home. The No. 15 is good for that purpose. But I'm not sure how I'll incorporate it into outfits once we're allowed to move about freely outside again: This sweater is so oversized and thick that it doesn't layer well under my coats. I can get the coat on, but then I feel distinctly squished in and like the Michelin Man; there's no extra room under the coat because it's all taken up by the sweater! A few other quirks: With the rustic-feeling yarn, there are little bits of straw one needs to pick out; the itch factor is substantial at first, but gets better within a few wears; and the sweater had a strong lanolin smell when new, which subsided a lot - but not completely - after the first hand-washing (the smell also gets stronger when the sweater is damp). 
• Lou & Grey Triple Cloth Midi Dress, dark ginger - $71.60 - (sold out) - This dress was another impulsive purchase. I normally don't shop at Lou & Grey - their styles are too casual - but I was browsing their loungewear and was really taken by the color and texture of the fabric, which looked nice in the official photos. As it turns out, the store photography is somewhat misleading as to color, the shade is less bright in real life. The 100% cotton fabric is also thinner than I envisioned. The dress is substantial enough that - under normal circumstances - I'd still wear it out of the house during the summer, as it gets hot and humid enough in NYC that one often reaches for flimsy, thin fabrics. Overall, if these were normal times, I'd probably return this dress. I like it okay, but I don't love it. But while COVID-19 shutdowns are still going strong, I'm treating all items as effectively final sale, I won't trouble anyone with returns. (For anything that truly doesn't work on me, I'd resell later, once things have calmed down.) Because the fabric is so light, this dress is comfortable for lounging at home now that the weather's getting warm, so I can see it getting plenty of use that way. While this dress is sold out, a matching set in the same fabric with a long-sleeved henley top and ankle-length joggers is available in a few colors. These could make for nice summertime loungewear because the fabric is so light. 

And that's it for May's shopping! It's quite a formidable list, all of it accumulated by early May. Time will tell if I'm correct that I'm actually over the "online window-shopping as distraction and comfort" phase of social distancing, for real this time. (I had a false alarm on this in March.)

My lockdown experience has generally been filled with wild mood swings and changes of habit: Just when I think I've settled into a routine at last, things change. First, I can't sleep in because of too much nervous energy - which is sad, because I normally love to sleep in whenever I get half the chance! - but then, all of a sudden, I'm drowsy and completely useless before noon, and then back again. Sometimes I get mild stress-induced tightness in the chest, and then it disappears, rinse and repeat. At first, I'm really optimistic that things can start safely reopening in NYC soon, and then I'm not. In any case, the question of when I'll personally feel safe doing "normal life" things again is a completely separate one.

* Well, if we wanted to look really far back, I probably shouldn't have clerked and set my financial progress back by nearly two years. But that's a complicated topic that implicates questions of long-term career development; the dramatic socioeconomic and "prestige" or school-rank-driven hierarchies in this profession; the inability of law school faculty and staff to give career advice that takes into account financial realities, etc. etc. 

Social Distancing Life Lately: Eight Weeks

Another photograph from a very different time.

How are you and your loved ones doing? This marks our household's eighth week of fairly strict social distancing. We, and our families, continue to be in good health. K and I have actually shifted to leaving our apartment building only once every three weeks for a big grocery run, though this is only possible because we supplement with some kind of grocery delivery order towards the end of the second week. That delivery tends to include at least some items we can't get at Trader Joe's, as well as some additional fresh produce. (We tip well whenever we use a delivery service, of course.)

We continue to be extremely fortunate, with the ability to work entirely from home, at least until the New York "On PAUSE" order lifts, and no disruptions to our income as of yet. (I would not bet money on the shutdown order lifting for NYC until May 31 or later.) While things remain stable for me in terms of work and income, I'll continue to make at least $350 in total charitable donations this month, mostly to the Food Bank for New York City and World Central Kitchen. 

Budgeting Lessons  

As Luxe observed on Instagram, one unintended side effect of the COVID-19 shutdowns is that, with restaurant outings and travel basically completely off the table - among many other discretionary things - one might be in a position to examine what one's bare-bones budget could look like. That's certainly been true for our household. 

Back before all the shutdowns started, K and I basically only ever cooked two to three meals a week at home, everything else was done via takeout, including all our weekday lunches at work (I was an excellent and loyal customer of Sweetgreen, let's just say), or via restaurant delivery whenever we weren't going out to eat. I've long been very sheepish about our dining practices - it was an incredibly expensive lifestyle - but while we were both spending so many hours at the office working our biglaw (and in my case, biglaw-ish) jobs, things simply were not going to change. 

Naturally, our food spending has now dropped precipitously. Going by the past two months, around $580/month in groceries will feed our household of two comfortably while the "On PAUSE" shutdown order remains in effect and we're cooking every meal at home. If our primary neighborhood grocery store wasn't a Trader Joe's - one of the more affordable grocery chains in the city - our monthly food budget would probably be significantly higher.

On this budget, we are definitely not eating frugally: We have one meal containing meat or fish most days; we eat a fair bit of packaged snacks and frozen foods; I like more expensive fruit such as berries; and it also includes indulgences here and there, such as some fancy cheese and charcuterie. Under more ordinary conditions, I could probably also get that number down a bit further by utilizing delivery services less often and having access to Chinese grocery stores that require public transit to get to.

The other major category where our spending's been cut significantly is travel, both for vacations and also for routine use of public transit (a 30-day unlimited-use NYC Metrocard, which covers the subway and public buses, currently costs $127; many workplaces offer a benefit where employees can obtain theirs using pre-tax dollars) and cabs or ride-share services. We were originally planning to go on vacation to Japan and Taiwan in the first half of April, but hadn't yet incurred any of the costs, except for airfare. After getting our full refund from EVA Airways, which was fairly painless, that's an entire set of significant expenses that have now been postponed indefinitely.

As you can probably guess, one category of personal discretionary spending that has definitely not gone down for me is shopping for clothing and accessories. I'm quite sheepish about this. I do, at least, consider any purchase I make in this period to be effectively final sale. I will not be troubling anyone with returns and return shipments during this time. 

March 2020 Shopping Reflections

It feels a little strange to be doing a "business as usual"-type post when the world has changed so much since the last time I drafted one of these monthly shopping posts. But I still want to keep up this series, which I've been writing for five years and counting. 

K and I are now in our fourth week of fairly strict social distancing, where we work entirely from home and only leave our apartment building roughly once every two weeks for groceries (and, if needed, we'll add a trip to the pharmacy during the same outing). And it's an incredible privilege to have been able to stay indoors like this. Our household plans to continue social distancing  this way for as long as we are able, and that will almost certainly be for at least as long as New York's "On PAUSE" executive order remains in place. At this point, I'm not optimistic that this state of affairs can end before May, and I think it's most likely to last until close to June, or later. 

My desire and appetite for online window-shopping has fluctuated dramatically during this time. In the first two weeks, I was browsing up a storm, driven in part by boredom and discomfort from the new obligation to stay almost completely indoors, and also by a wave of unusually broad discounts and promotions. The discounts themselves have generally been modest - somewhere between 10% to 25% off, generally closer to 10% to 15% off - but applied to a wider range of products than is typical.

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This past week, I felt more "back to normal" when it came to my online shopping habits. Additionally, the realization gradually sank in that I'd need essentially nothing in the way of new clothes and accessories if I'd be working entirely from home for the foreseeable future. Some among us may regularly change into "daytime" lounging or indoor clothes when working from home, but I confess I'm not one of them. I pretty much just wear the same lounge clothes around the clock these days!

Fashion - (TOTAL: $347.50)

• Elizabeth Suzann Harlow dress, silk crepe, black - $265.00 - It'll sound a bit like post hoc rationalization, since I never got the chance to write about my ideas for this year's shopping list until now, but I was coming up with a fairly pared-down list that didn't have much more on it than some new tights; that sleek and more office-appropriate backpack I was thinking about since January (maybe a Knomo Beauchamp?); and this dress. Given that I'm a bit self-conscious about my bust measurement, one would think I'd generally avoid this type of voluminous silhouette that billows down and out from the widest point of the chest. (For lack of more graceful wording, I call it the "boob tent" effect.) Yet I find that I keep coming back to the idea of this dress after seeing it on a few other bloggers, including Elaine. And hey, I tried out a similar shape last year in the form of the LinenFox "Summer" dress, and found that I quite enjoyed wearing it, even if the design was very much outside my style comfort zone. Originally, I wasn't planning on ordering this dress until June or so, since it's definitely summer wear. But when the owner of Elizabeth Suzann wrote about the challenges their small business was facing, it felt right to me to move up my schedule for this purchase I was already planning to make. Because Nashville has since - rightfully - imposed a broad shutdown order for public health and safety, my order will likely be delayed significantly longer than Elizabeth Suzann's typical four-week production timeline for made-to-order items. But that's totally okay by me!  
• Wolford Velvet De Luxe 50 denier tights, black - $36.75 - In hindsight, it now feels a little silly to have stocked up on tights in March, even if they're one of my wardrobe staples for most of each year. I can guarantee that I'm definitely not wearing tights again until we're back in the office, and who knows when that will be? Tights were on my shopping list for the year, in any case. Though strictly speaking, I only really needed one new pair. 
• Wolford Pure 50 tights, black - $45.75 - For a time in mid-March, Nordstrom was running a broad 25% off almost everything promotion, including many items that typically don't go on sale. So I took the opportunity to snag two new pairs of Wolford tights, not just one. Over the years, I've found Wolford tights extremely durable - when I don't repeatedly snag them against sharp edges of furniture by accident, that is - and comfortable, they stay put throughout the day and the waistband doesn't roll down. My previous pairs of Wolford tights have held up well to extremely frequent washing and wear. 

Admittedly, now that I've pretty much gone through my entire planned shopping list for the remainder of the year, any subsequent shopping - and there almost certainly will be some - will likely be more impulsive. At this point, that more formal and sleek backpack I was thinking about is the only thing really left on the list, but I'm not sure I can bring myself to make a decision on that genre of item until I'm able to freely leave my apartment building without endangering others in my community. Backpacks are definitely not the kind of thing one shops for when staying at home for the foreseeable future! 

I hope that you, and your families and friends, are holding up alright, and that everyone is well. 

October 2019 Shopping Reflections

October has been fairly shopping-heavy for me. Things have remained consistently hectic at the office - outside of when I was on vacation - and I keep wanting to browse online shops late in the evening after work as a way of unwinding and de-stressing after a long day. Not the greatest habit, I know. It hasn't (yet) resulted in my actually ordering too many things to try on and potentially keep, but the risk is certainly there. 

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I'd say that one of this months' purchases, the Kate Spade "Lana" loafers in a croc-embossed "cherrywood" shade, was an indirect product of those work stress-driven online window-shopping impulses. As I explained last month, my sudden interest in the trend of colorful croc-embossed leather came about that way. At the time, a pair of shoes seemed to be the most likely way I'd indulge in that trend, in part because I don't currently own many shoes suitable for warmer weather; I grind them down so quickly with frequent - or unfortunately, sometimes with not-so-frequent - wear. 

This month's other purchases, though, have been much longer in the making. Starting last winter, because of an office policy change that put the kibosh on jeans for casual Fridays, I became interested in looking for a pair of black pants in more casual, comfortable materials. The sole purpose of these pants would be to wear on casual Fridays at work during the colder seasons. One idea was for something from an athleisure brand, possibly a pair of Athleta Wander pants or something similar. 

I never did get around to shopping for something for those pants last winter. Pants shopping is generally such a chore when one is quite short and also has shorter-than-average legs, such that most "petite"-sizing pants are still a little too long. I could never get up the energy to start trying things on last winter. And as soon as the weather warmed up, I lost interest completely. Now that the weather's cooling down again, it was time to resume the search. 

I had observed that solid black denim appeared acceptable for casual Fridays under the new policy, so that was the direction I ultimately went in. Between this month's purchase and the source of my current pair of skinny jeans (similar), it seems that Gap jeans fit me best. I also tried on practically every similar design at Madewell (the 9'' mid-rise skinny jeans in ISKO stay-black were my favorite of the bunch) and Everlane, but the Gap ones looked best on me by far. 

Fashion - (TOTAL: $403.57)

• Elizabeth Suzann Ella Slip Dress in silk crepe, navy - $225.00 - (discontinued) - This dress has been on my main shopping list Pinterest board more or less since I started using it, for nearly a year. But I currently have plenty of summer dresses for the weekend that are still in good condition, so there was no real room for ordering it anytime soon. Then the company announced that the entire Ella product line would be discontinued, so I felt like it was "now or never," if I wanted it. (I like the neckline on the Ella much better than the necklines on the replacement designs, the Petra and the Polly.) The Elizabeth Suzann ("ES") silk crepe is nice, noticeably thicker and a bit more substantial than the Grana, Madewell, Everlane-ish silk I'm more accustomed to. Texture-wise, the ES silk has a little more stiffness than the Equipment silk blouses I've gotten at significant discount in the past. 
• Kate Spade Lana Loafers, cherrywood - $138.60* - I had a slightly strange experience when deciding on these: I originally ordered both this Lana loafer (Bloomingdales was price-matching a sale at Kate Spade) and the Darien loafer from Kate Spade directly, both of which were supposed to be the same "cherrywood" shade. But the Darien loafer was a completely different color! On both websites, the "cherrywood" shade looks like a deep, somewhat multidimensional red with uneven shading to give it texture. Instead, the Darien loafer was this one-dimensional, very flat-looking mauve shade, not remotely like the website photo. Whereas the color of the Lana loafer on the website is accurate to what I actually received. How very strange! Has that ever happened to you, where the sample photographed for the retailer's website must not have looked at all like the actual product? Another note: This may be my first pair of shoes with a leather sole - which does feel a bit fragile - so I may need to take these to the cobbler before I wear them out, and ask them to add a protective layer of rubber. 
• Gap Mid-Rise True Skinny Jeans, black rinse - $41.97 - All I wanted from this purchase was a pair of solid black skinny jeans that fit me well and had no fading or distressing or other design flourishes. Because Gap skinny jeans appear to suit my height and body shape the best,  based on each time I've shopped for jeans in recent memory, this pair fit the bill exactly.

*Indicates that price includes sales tax.

Going into November, the main thing on my mind shopping-wise will be holiday gifts for K and his parents. As I've somewhat sheepishly mentioned, my own immediate family takes an extremely unsentimental - but arguably practical - approach to gift-giving: The recipient selects their own gift, and might even go so far as to order it for themselves, in which case they receive reimbursement from the giver. K's family does holiday gifts the more traditional way, surprises all around. I enjoy participating in that family tradition, but it can be a little stressful trying to pick good and useful gifts. My gift selections for his parents have been a bit hit-or-miss over the years. I've had a few smashing successes, but also a few real duds, unfortunately.

Are you thinking ahead to holiday gifts for family and friends? Any good ideas for gifts this year? If you have a "business casual" workplace that observes "casual Fridays," are jeans allowed? I suspect that many business casual offices in various industries out there, in particular in non-NYC localities, generally allow jeans on at least some occasions. 

Outfit Post: A Slightly Unusual Look

Necklace: Alighieri "La Fortuna" necklace

Necklace: Alighieri "Initial Spark" necklace

Jacket: J.Crew "Juliette" Sweater Blazer, size XS

Dress: Elizabeth Suzann "Ella" slip dress, size M (discontinued)

Shoes: Marc Fisher "Chang" loafers

Now here's an outfit I'm not sure I'll repeat: I originally wore it out of the house with a pair of black tights on, and it felt like a strange, extremely conservative-looking outfit from the waist down, since all the more modern, slightly edgier-looking details were only visible from the waist up. (I also wore my Alighieri "Surreal" earrings, which are the biggest pair of earrings I own, though they're not actually that big.) I still enjoyed wearing this outfit, it's very comfortable and relaxed, but it does feel like an unusual look for autumn weather. Silk slip dresses are just too associated with summer in my mind, and the dress does look a little odd with tights on underneath.

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This post also serves as a spoiler for this month's shopping reflections post, as this Elizabeth Suzann ("ES") "Ella" silk slip dress - recently discontinued - is new to my wardrobe. The company has now replaced the Ella series with two sets of designs, the round-neck "Polly" and the v-neck "Petra" families. I've had an Ella silk slip dress pinned on my main shopping list Pinterest board for most of this year, but I don't think I would have been ready to order one anytime soon. At the moment, I have plenty of other summer dresses in my closet that are all in fairly good shape, including ES's linen Georgia dress from June. It was only when I saw the brand's announcement on Instagram that they were discontinuing the Ella items that I decided to move forward, as it was "now or never." I received this dress just after I got back from my recent vacation. 

Adding to the relative conservativeness of this look, I had my hair up in a loose bun held in place by one of those Ficcare hairclips that I've been using all summer, since I bought them in June. I always feel very buttoned up when I wear my hair that way. (It's a very easy way to style my hair for work.) 

So yes, I'm not sure I'll be wearing this outfit again during the cooler seasons. I really wanted to try wearing my new ES Ella dress out, and this was the only way I could think to do it now that it's starting to cool down here in NYC. We're currently having a few weeks of trench coat weather here. 

June 2019 Shopping Reflections

As the months go by this year, I continue to feel as if I'm settling in to a slightly new way of thinking about shopping. The jury's still out when it comes to whether the results will actually look different, of course, but as of this month, I still feel as if my mindset has changed. This isn't a process that's completely without growing pains, however, and I still wouldn't claim to have a particularly noteworthy level of self-discipline about shopping. Regardless, things feel different from 2018. 

Among other things, I'm gradually becoming more accustomed to some purchases being "slow", including in the purely literal sense of the word of needing to wait a few weeks for an item to be made-to-order. I think I've also better internalized the idea that, if an item has the right details and meets my criteria, then it's worth a longer wait. But because I'm super-indecisive sometimes, a longer production time could also mean that I end up not being able to make a decision about something until such a late date that I definitely won't get it until after its season is already over. 

I was maybe still a bit disheartened this month by some of those "growing pains" I mentioned feeling. They felt like the thoughts of a person who might be a little addicted to some aspects of shopping, namely to that sometimes-fleeting excitement of receiving something new-to-me that I think is awesome and beautiful. (There have, of course, been times when I start off with that feeling and still end up realizing, fairly quickly afterwards, that the item actually wasn't as suitable for me as I first thought. So that early excitement can be a deceptive thing!) 

This past month, there were times when I found myself browsing retailers' websites for an extended period, and I felt some real disappointment when I realized that I wasn't going to find anything new to add onto my Pinterest "shopping list". My usual next step was to go back to Pinterest, browse through the section of my "wishlist" dedicated to items I've been thinking about more seriously, only to feel further disappointment that nothing there struck my fancy as something I could order to try on right now. These feelings are so silly, the only real explanation for them is that I'm definitely addicted to something about shopping, likely to the novelty and excitement of getting my hands on something new-to-me. And it's not even like I've been deprived of that feeling recently, given that I've still shopped each month of 2019 so far!

I don't think it's inherently a bad thing to enjoy new-to-me and shiny, pretty things. If I saw something really awesome, for which the price was right, which fit my preferences and criteria, and which I expected would be functional to me for the foreseeable future, I'd totally still buy it.  

But it might not be a great sign that I get wistful about not currently having more new-to-me things that I'd like to think about buying imminently. If the open market isn't currently presenting me with ideas for new items that would actually be functional and useful for me, at the right price for my budget, and that meet all my requirements for whatever category of potential purchase I'm thinking about, I shouldn't feel disappointed! Instead, I could spend that specific time or energy appreciating what I already have, or doing something else that's more productive than, er, wishing I had something new to buy right now, or soon. 

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That faint but sometimes recurrent desire to shop for the sake of novelty or entertainment is something I'll need to keep an eye on. I've at least observed that the feeling of adding a few pins to my Pinterest boards (most recently, on a board dedicated to more fantastical and larger-than-life "Abstract/Runway Inspirations" that I don't think would ever translate to my day-to-day life) can sort of scratch the itch just a little, by giving me the chance to think about something pretty and new, even if it's just pictures. Plus, I always have various wardrobe-maintenance and clothing-care tasks in my queue, including actually making use of that handheld clothes steamer I got from my friend when I traded away my full-size one during my recent bout of free-cycling. 

Fashion - (TOTAL: $356.46)

• Elizabeth Suzann Georgia Dress in Midweight Linen, black, OS - $205.00 - As I mentioned last week, I received my Elizabeth Suzann order earlier this month, almost a week ahead of schedule. I've worn my items a few times, and I'm really enjoying them so far, though I still haven't spent quite enough time with them to feel like I can give a detailed assessment. Note that the midweight linen material is a bit too thick and heavy for this to be a "perfect" summer dress for me. When temperatures climb into the upper-70s Fahrenheit under typical NYC summer humidity, I sometimes start feeling a bit overheated in this dress if I'm outdoors wandering for a long period of time. 
• Elizabeth Suzann Asawa Tie Belt in Midweight Linen, black, OS - $60.00 - I don't think I'd have become interested in the Georgia dress in linen if it weren't for this belt and seeing an Instagram photo of someone in this outfit. While I very much like the idea of voluminous, relaxed-fit items such as the Georgia (everything in this vein looks so comfortable!), I personally think that amount of extra volume is often not suitable for the NYC business casual office environments I'm familiar with. Plus, with linen's natural tendency to wrinkle, the unbelted Georgia would start feeling even more casual. With the belt, I'm comfortable wearing this dress to work on days without formal meetings, though I prefer to keep it mostly to casual Fridays. I find the shape and design of the Asawa fairly unique and special, it transforms the shape of the dress. I like how infinitely adjustable this belt is, and with the texture of the mid-weight linen, it stays in place reasonably well (no real wardrobe malfunction risk). Though I do still find myself slightly repositioning the belt maybe two or three times throughout the day, as the widest part of it sometimes folds down a bit and shifts a little, particularly if I spend most of my day sitting at my desk.
• Ficcare Ficcarissimo Hair Clip, gold, medium - $40.49* - I had seen Ficcare hair accessories recommended in Corporette comment threads. This was the month I finally decided to try one, now that my hair is more recovered from a recent... situation... with a failed "magic straight" perm, and I can start growing it out and going longer between haircuts again. Because my hair is quite thick, and also because I have essentially zero hair-styling skills, I've always had trouble getting most hair clips or barrettes to stay on. Whomever recommended Ficcare must have said the hair clips were unusually awesome, and that no other brand had worked for them before. With my lack of hair-styling experience, I can't fully vouch for whether that recommendation is entirely true, but I've found this clip to be easy to use. All I know how to do is to twist my hair up; position the resulting twist of hair in a loop towards the middle or lower part of the back of my head; and use the clip to keep the loop mostly in place (which results in what looks like a neat-ish updo from the front, but one that necessarily has some ends of hair sticking out a bit in back). That style stays in place the entire day with both this clip and the Maximas. 
• Ficcare Maximas Hair Clip, caramel, medium - $50.97* - The price here takes into account a promotional $10.00 "Nordstrom Note" I received out of the blue. After getting my Ficcarisimo early this month, I couldn't stop thinking about the more colorful enamel Maximas clips. I kept going back to both Nordstrom's and Ficcare's website to try and decide which one would best suit my wardrobe only to end up with this fairly neutral "caramel" shade in the end. (And I must say, Nordstrom's photography is much better than Ficcare's, and makes the colors look far more appealing.) Note that finding the right size with both these hair clips is important. With my roughly shoulder-length (sometimes a little longer) and fairly thick, somewhat wavy hair, the "large" Maximas clip is too big for me to style my hair the way I described. The hair falls out of the clip more easily when the clip's too big. The "medium" size of both is about the right size for my hair texture and length.  

*Includes sales tax. 

With the Elizabeth Suzann purchases this month, I should be done with my warm-weather clothing purchases for 2019. There are other technically warm-weather friendly things I'm still thinking about, including the ES Bel Skirt in silk, but I don't think of that skirt as being a summer-only item. Then again, it may be that a longer silk skirt wouldn't have the right look with tights, which I find to be a necessity when wearing skirts and dresses throughout the colder months of the year. 

My one potential weak spot for an item that I see as being definitively "summer-only" comes about as a result of LinenFox's recently debuted bright teal-looking "emerald green" shade, which I think is gorgeous. I don't need any more summer dresses, but I really want one in that color. Except that, after factoring in the naturally wrinkly tendencies of linen; my preference for designs without too much extra volume; and how I prefer a design that would mostly hide my bra straps, I'm not sure any of LinenFox's dresses are guaranteed to be suitable for my tastes. There are a few designs on my "shortlist", but nothing in that group really stands out from the rest of the pack.

Admittedly, I have recently been a bit preoccupied with other shopping that's not for my wardrobe. Specifically, Bloomingdales has two styles of Smythson notebooks on sale: a pale blue Panama notebook with "Notes" embossed on the cover for 30% off and the larger Soho notebook for either 30% or 70% off, depending on the color. (And there's also an extra "buy more, save more" discount for the rest of June, which will be applied upon checkout.) These days, after starting to keep my daily to-do list (in a vaguely bullet journal-like style) and other notes in a hard copy notebook, I'm a lot better about using my fancy stationery than I used to be, so if I ended up getting one of these ultra-fancy notebooks, it'd be a major indulgence, but most likely not a wasted one.

Anyone else sometimes feel that sort of addiction to the novelty or excitement that comes from buying new-to-you things? How does one go about learning how to style one's own hair anyway, without having a patient sibling, friend, or parent willing (and also able, which is not a given) to do the teaching? Youtube tutorials are probably helpful for most people, but alas, I'm truly hopeless when it comes to hair-styling!