Friday Link List: No frills. No bows. No bullshit(?)

The Wing, via Curbed. 

Things are officially quite hectic at the office, but I'm really excited to be fully integrated with a few big ongoing projects. Full speed ahead, and I learn more and develop more as an attorney when I'm busy!

One small detail about workflow in litigation, more than in some other practices, is that many high-profile or complex cases (or heck, many litigated cases in general) tend to last years and years. For instance, up to this day (and with no realistic end in sight, whether months or years from now) tons of lawyers are still working on cases related to the recovery of assets from Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme, a process that began nine years ago. That's far longer than many people's stints at any particular law firm or other job throughout the course of a career! As someone who used to really enjoy that particular feeling of accomplishment that comes from finally closing the book entirely on a project so that I'll never see anything to do with it again, well, that's not something that comes along often, and I'll need to get used to that.

1. // Here's something fussy and nitpicky about how Everlane is marketing (affiliate link) their new line of women's underwear. Taglines include: "No frills. No bows. No bullshit." further explained by: "Underwear should be made for you. But for decades, it’s been designed with someone else in mind." I don't love this marketing, though it's not important enough for me to fuss much one way or the other. I'm largely content to shrug my shoulders and note that it's not a product I'm interested in. Those bras have absolutely no utility to me, but that's no surprise in the startups-making-bras context. They generally don't stock my size at all (Victoria's Secret also doesn't, so that's not even a huge deal) or if they do, I just don't trust them to do the job well enough to spend money on trying them out.

That being said, I have a question. Are Everlane's taglines for this new product line compelling to you? Does this marketing work? Personally, I'm entirely neutral on frills and bows and the like. 98% of the time, because the items are well designed and/or because of how my other clothes fit, what lace and bows that are present never cause any problem. I've never thought that the frills meant the items were "designed with someone else in mind." In fact, the items I wear are, er, specifically and definitely well-designed for my needs, mainly to hold certain things in place, to allow things like, say, high impact exercise, or even brisk walking around without discomfort. But I'm an outlier, so I'm so not the person to ask. 

2. // By now you've probably heard of a recent New York City Commission of Human Rights investigation of The Wing, a startup-y women's-only club and coworking space that was founded here in NYC and is constantly expanding, for possible violations of local public accommodations laws. Jezebel broke the story, and it's gone a bit viral.

Although the price point and general nature of The Wing means I'll likely never be a customer (the "all locations" membership is a year-long commitment of $2700 or ~$250/month, I know it's shocking, but at least keep in mind that an unlimited use WeWork membership also starts at $220/month and that's likely the competition they had in mind). At the moment, The Wing's main benefit over WeWork or other coworking space rentals is access to some pretty cool events, including, in recent weeks, one with Jennifer Lawrence (!), one at the Chanel couture showroom that they set up for NYC-based customers, and various other things, both big and small. A friend is a member and has been kind enough to invite me to a few things that allowed non-member guests, including a screening of this film with the director and a few actresses (Beanie Feldstein, of Lady Bird fame, is really cool!), and that's the only reason I know anything specific about The Wing. 

I don't know the laws at issue very well, so no real opining from me. Just because of other media I've recently consumed, my brain is primed to wonder if we're seeing another example of NYC city government entities engaging in inefficient use of their prosecutorial discretion, but well, that's a half-formed thought. 

3. // I  have a huge backlog of blog entries to read that I'll get to soon, when things ease up a bit at the office, but here are a few other things that I enjoyed reading about in recent days: A wedding post from Jess; a few thoughts about transparency and personal finance blogging at YAPFB (I rambled a lot there, possibly too much); and a post from Feather Factor about having help, whether hired or from family members, once kids are in the picture. That last thing is a topic I may need to start thinking about sometime in the next few years, but that I will totally avoid for as long as I possibly can. I've thought about it enough to know that I don't see any way around needing tons of help if I follow through on the very likely plan of going back to work as soon as my maternity leave ends (by far the most commonly done thing among my attorney peers).

March 2018 Shopping Reflections

Towards the end of the month, things got quite busy at the office, enough that it drove the thought of those Soludos llama slip-on sneakers right out of my head. That particular impulse might recur, however, as warmer weather finally sets in. (And there are more spring and summer-feeling pink ones too, though they may not come back in stock until June.) As I mentioned in February, this month was almost certain to be shopping-heavy as well, because many of this month's orders were already pending. I'm really hoping to ease up on the shopping for the rest of the year, and I don't anticipate any big obstacles to that until fall. Although I'm eager for warm weather, I don't get excited about warm weather clothes, for the most part.

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I likely have a new "wish list" for spring and summer, mostly including one or two cotton tees that fit well and look good, and which I'm willing to spend on. I'm pretty fussy about how tees fit over my chest, a lot of them make me really feel the lyrics of a certain Crazy Ex-Girlfriend song. I secretly want all my tops and dresses to have an optical illusion effect that deemphasizes my chest. Few tees are equal to that task though, as they're soft and unstructured. At the moment, I only own one cotton tee that I wear out of the house, an Everlane v-neck in black that's alright, but doesn't have the effect I'm looking for. It's also quite fitted on me, and I'd prefer something a little more relaxed. I think this goes slightly against common wisdom for busty people who want to deemphasize that feature, but a v-neck is not the best neckline for that goal on me. A scoop neck or round neck that doesn't go too high up and shows at least part of my collarbones, seems to be best, though I might need to try on quite a few styles to make sure.  

Fashion - (TOTAL: $333.74) 

• C by Bloomingdales Cashmere Open Asymmetric Cardigan - $79.00 - This is sold out, as they discounted it heavily for the end of the season. I totally didn't need this, as I have plenty of wool and cashmere cardigans for winter, but I was sucked in by the sale price. I don't think this is actually asymmetric, it just has a rather exaggerated, voluminous waterfall effect in front. It feels cozy, so I've enjoyed wearing it and it'll get plenty of use. 
• M.Gemi Felize, Gold Shimmer - $161.14 - I used someone's referral code for a $50 discount  on my first pair of M.Gemi shoes. These feel nice, a bit more refined in construction than the Everlane Modern Points or any given pair of Cole Haan shoes. Between the metallic shimmer finish and how these are my first pair of driving moccasins, with rubber stoppers instead of a traditional sole, I was nervous about the durability. They actually seem like they'll be fine, though, not worse than any other pair of ballet flats I've owned,  except that I'd be more cautious about exposure to rain. M. Gemi's business model, which relies on releasing limited-edition shoes, generally in fun colors, means that it couldn't ever be a brand I regularly look to for my footwear needs. 
• J.Crew Factory Open-Front Sweater Blazer, heather charcoal - $46.80 - I wrote about this and other "pretend blazers" or "almost jackets" recently, things with a blazer look, but that are machine-washable and preferably a bit softer and less structured-feeling.  I liked this one much better than J.Crew Factory's other sweater blazer, which was awkwardly long on me. There is a very similar J.Crew design, in merino wool instead of cotton, and dry clean-only instead of  machine-washable. The J.Crew one may have bigger lapels and an intentionally oversized fit. 
• J.Crew Factory Open-Front Sweater Blazer, heather oatmeal - $46.80 - I rarely get multiple colors of one item, but I have a use for both of these. Although I had plenty of winter cardigans, my collection of spring/summer ones (mostly cotton or linen from Ann Taylor or Loft) was getting very worn out and depleted. 

Is anyone else also far more into fall/winter clothes than spring/summer ones? Any recommendations for brands that do good tees? I think I'll be a bit absent as a blogger and regular reader and commenter elsewhere for a few weeks, as I've hit an unusually busy patch at the office, with two of my bigger projects serving up several important deadlines in a row, at the exact same time. I'm happy to be fully integrated into my projects at the new place, though! 

Friday Link List: Dress Codes and Other Things

K and I recently tried out Cote, a hip new Korean BBQ place that has been difficult to get a reservation at since they received a Michelin star. We booked four weekends ahead to get something that wasn't 11:00 PM or later!

The concept is part fancy steakhouse, with dry-aged beef cooked and served Korean BBQ-style. We enjoyed it, though we may prefer the experience of more traditional Korean BBQ instead (in Manhattan, I recommend Kang Ho Dong, though they don't take reservations and waits can be long). Pictured above is the "egg souffle", a steamed egg dish that comes free with the "Butcher's Feast" set menu. It's hardly the star of the show, but I'm very fond of steamed eggs, which are also a Chinese comfort food.

1. // I'll bet I'm preaching to the choir, but relatively few things simultaneously confuse and horrify me more than people who disrespect and completely dismiss the contributions of their stay at home partner, particularly after there are children. This is one of those things that I have, luckily, never encountered in real life, just in online spaces, but I've seen so many different flavors of it. I detest this behavior equally whether it is directed at a woman (discussion referenced here or the idea of "Jeff" here and anyone who defends him, though they may all be trolls) or a man (Corporette readers were being hyper-weird, and I was floored). I can't even begin to wrap my head around how people get into these mindsets. Anyone who seriously holds that view is being remarkably blind about some things. Granted, if the "Jeff" or Corporette situations are real, the actual problems are probably much deeper than whether the other partner has a job. 

2. // I don't always agree with everything Racked publishes about workplace dress codes, but they recently posted two interesting pieces. First was one about the complicated and sometimes arbitrary-seeming rules for Capitol Hill staffers. Second, and this made me very sad, there was a piece about the dramatically awful dress code double standards that face some women of color in conservative workplaces, when compared with what other women face (which is already not great). I really would hope that lawyers would know better. 

P.S. the author of the second piece also wrote something I've often wanted to share, but never manage to because I disagree so much with her ultimate thesis. Her description of the bits of snide competitiveness among her law school classmates during on-campus recruiting was so spot-on, except that it's a gender-neutral behavior. I've seen it so often, throughout all stages of law school, from men and women alike. 

3. // I totally just shared something from Bitches get Riches, but they posted something else I found awesome and important. Essentially, it's about the process of getting "woke", accepting and even embracing the rage one might rightly and reasonably feel about the injustice and indignities that one personally faces, which also realizing the importance of fighting for people who are even more vulnerable. It's very real to me, and describes something that is an uncomfortable process and long, winding road. (Pro bono work, generally of the most mundane "civil Gideon" kinds has been a big part of my life at every stage of my legal education and career except when it was not allowed, see Canon 4(D), as well as contributions to various pipeline initiatives, but it never feels like enough. There's more work to be done.)

Congratulations to Sophie on her first blogiversary! Like her, I also feel so lucky to be able to connect and engage with so many smart, interesting people through blogs, and I'm so thankful and appreciative to everyone who reads here. My personal tea-making set-up is a bit different from Archana's, and I enjoyed reading about her approach. More tea for everyone! JENKR has a lovely home, and I've also been reading along about Talia's shower renovation. K and I will be perpetual renters for quite some time yet, so it's always interesting to see what other people do with their living spaces.

4. // I'm repeating myself, but I'm still shocked at how limited the work-appropriate dress selection at Loft has become. It used to be an office-wear mainstay for me, back in 2014 when I built the backbone of my work wardrobe, mostly with a few shift dresses with flared out skirts (like these, though it's a silhouette I now find a bit juvenile in theory, though I'll keep wearing mine until they wear out) that were easy to find in their "extra 40% off sale" section. In my head, I used to refer to them as a "Forever 21 for working women" at business casual offices, and I actually meant that as a high compliment, in the sense that the ability to build a full work wardrobe quickly at an entry-level or intern price was ultimately a good and necessary thing for me back then and well, even Forever 21 items never actually wore out that quickly for me when I took good care of them.

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Right now though, they have absolutely nothing in their dress section that I would wear to the office, and only two things I'd consider possibilities were it not for some flaw. This teal floral lace dress is a bit too bright to be an office staple, though the material seems similar to my navy blue Ann Taylor lace shift dresses (long discontinued), which I like for both the office and for attending weddings. This navy "flippy dress" with a bit of lace might be subdued enough for work, but I don't like drop waists and the lace might be the kind of trendy detail that ends up looking dated too soon. Everything else they have is too casual, and is mostly unstructured, unlined polyester dresses of a type that has never looked good on me. 

Shoe Shopping

For the most part, I'm not much of a "shoe person". My taste in shoes leans boring and practical. Often, when I try to experiment with something even a bit more interesting, I end up not wearing them much because of some issue. (Everlane Modern Points that never break in, I'm looking at you!)

Please note that this post contains affiliate links that could result in a commission, typically a few cents, for me if you click. Thank you for your support! 

I bought three pairs of shoes in 2017, but two (the Sam Edelman Tristan pumps and the Cole Haan Tali bow flats) were shoes that I generally only wear for more formal court occasions or for interviews, i.e. the most boring shoes ever. The third were a pair of "The Skinny" Fitflops to replace a three year old pair that were peeling at the soles, i.e. another pair of boring (but super comfortable) shoes. I bought more in 2016, but the successful purchases that year also fell squarely into the "boring" category. There was a backup pair of Sam Edelman Petty booties from a sale, which I only belatedly realized were a stiffer, less comfortable new tumbled leather rather than the original softer leather I was used to (the texture difference may be visible just from clicking between the two on Zappos). I've still managed to put the newer pair to use with black tights and my suits, and I still wear my old pair on bad weather days, or when I'll be in thicker socks. There was also a pair of perforated leather Vans, which weren't exciting, but were comfortable and practical. 

More recently though, and this is part of why my efforts to rein in my "joy"-driven shopping of the past few months may not be apparent until April at the earliest, I seem to be craving more interesting, fun shoes. To the extent that I indulge (and I have, a bit), I hope I end up with ones that prove fun and practical, and that I will actually wear. By now, I certainly know my own shoe preferences and needs quite well: ballet flats wear out incredibly quickly because of how I walk ad how much I walk so best not to get too extravagant; most heels prove to be a no-go and 3'' is about my maximum heel height; I'm rarely inclined to endure a painful breaking in period so if it takes more than a day or two, it may never happen (I'm talking about the Everlane Modern Points again); so on, so forth. So I should be capable of making smart shoe shopping decisions for myself. 

I had thought I would try a shoe that's more on the practical side, probably black leather loafers, most likely the Sam Edelman Liors as an attempt to get the general look of the famous Gucci loafers. I've been reluctant, however, because the first pair I tried (a near-identical, partially sold out Sam Edelman style, the Loraine), when I could only get a half size up from my usual, was both a bit too long and a hair too narrow, enough that the shoes might stretch to accommodate my foot, but would be uncomfortable in the process. This didn't bode well for how my actual size would fit. In the meantime, I've been distracted from the black leather loafer idea by two things that are quite different, more fun, but also far less practical.

First, I had mentioned my on-again, off-again interest in the M.Gemi Felize if it ever came back in a solid-color leather. Separately, I also had a long-ago interest in a pair of gold glitter flats, thanks in large part to a pair that my sister owned and that she bought while traveling abroad (so I couldn't copy her). Those interests managed to come together when I saw a recent release of the M.Gemi Felize in a gold shimmer leather. I'd never owned a pair of driving moccasins before with those little rubber stoppers as a sole, so I have no idea if those are generally durable or practical. The gold shimmer effect is also new to me and of unknown durability. I've had the shoes for such a short time that it's hard to say if I've been terribly foolish in getting them, though they've done well on the two days I've worn them out so far, including to walk between home and the office. 

Second, and much more suddenly and impractically, Soludos makes a pair of llama-decorated slip-on sneakers (recently restocked in a full size range). It's even made of velvet (a fabric I normally have no interest in). It's completely inconsistent with my usual taste in shoes, especially the ones that I actually wear. And yet, I confess... I really kind of want them. I'm going to wait at least a week or two before making an order, to see if my sudden passionate desire for them passes, because wow, they're quite a departure from my usual when it comes to shoes!

Are you a shoe person? Are driving moccasins actually very fragile shoes? (Hopefully not, because I've worn the M.Gemi shoes out already, and there's no returning them.)