A Tangential Thought Regarding J. Crew

via Wall Street Journal

Is it just me, or have people already been talking about the decline of J. Crew for years? I first started shopping there (by which I mean mostly window-shopping) in college, around 2008, and I think I remember people starting to complain about reduced quality and strange styling choices not too long after that. This post isn't really about the decline of J. Crew though, but more about the notion of being emotionally attached to a retail brand. It is a feeling I know well, and one that I even had for J. Crew back in the day. 

I first "discovered" J. Crew as a college student on the East Coast, very far from home and newly immersed in a campus culture that was just a little bit different from what I knew before. I'm not talking about the type of extreme challenges born of income inequality that are being discussed at many campuses recently. This was just me getting used to the minor detail that not everyone dressed like they did at home. That and the normal growing pains associated with the transition from high school to college and then the prospect of adult life. 

In my northern California suburb, flip-flops, hoodies, and jeans were the constant uniform. As far as I could remember, people generally had very conservative attitudes about consumption. Someone in high school once mentioned shopping for $100 jeans, and I wasn't the only person present who thought it an utterly preposterous notion. Once I got to college, I felt sloppy in my California clothes. 

I've mentioned before that I've long used shopping as a way of trying to fake it 'til I make it, hoping that by buying the right things, my anxieties about not belonging or not being cut out for something would go away. Thus, I wanted the preppy things that some (not even that many) of my peers wore, like a Ralph Lauren crew-neck sweater or a Lacoste polo (or Uggs, a Longchamp tote, or a Northface). I think I've always liked the idea that shopping for new things could help me redefine myself, could help me transform. 

In that context, J. Crew's range of brightly-colored basics (circa 2008) were just the thing. Whatever was challenging about college would, obviously, be easier if I had a closet full of ruffled tops and embellished cardigans to face it with. If only it wasn't so expensive. J. Crew, to me, was always this out of reach aspirational thing. It wasn't priced so high that I'd feel too embarrassed to browse, even as a college student, though even with the sales, the things I liked tended not to get solidly down into my price range. On that rare occasion when I got something nearly full price, with just the student discount (their Stretch Perfect Shirt is the only button-down for me, and I bought one for interviews back then), I felt like a million bucks for that fleeting moment. 

I never bought half the things I thought I wanted then, whether J. Crew or not. Even so, I still spent plenty of money, by college-student standards, before figuring out things such as how something isn't a good value just because its from the right brand or store and heavily discounted. 

Hitting the Books (and the Gym)

via Pinterest. Actual study situation is, of course, not at all picturesque.

For the next eight weeks or so, I'll be studying for a licensing-type exam, spending about six to seven hours per weekday on hitting the books. It isn't too bad, though it takes some getting used to! I'm currently at home in California and, I must say, I find the weather patterns here very strange after several summers away. After so much time spent in NYC, and in Hong Kong before that, I'm unaccustomed to dry summer climates. Not that it affects what I wear. I do most of my studying at home, which means pajama pants and those Forever 21 T-shirt nightdresses I like (back when they were made of a cotton-modal blend). 

I've actually managed to spend a fair bit of time at the gym as a form of stress relief. I'm one of those people who really doesn't enjoy working out, which means that I quickly find excuses not to exercise as soon as there's anything remotely complex, scheduling-wise, on my plate. When things are simple, though, and the only other schedule component is studying (on an entirely flexible, self-set schedule), getting to the gym is even a welcome relief. While I don't enjoy the act of working out itself, I'm remembering that I do like having it as part of my larger routine: It helps with stress relief, it feels good to get in shape, and I do like taking that time for myself.

I seem to enjoy the gym much more when I make time for it an average of five times a week, such that it really becomes part of my day-to-day routine. When I'm trying for around three times a week due to other obligations, every attempt to get out of the house for a workout becomes like pulling teeth, if only because I can never stick with it long enough to really make it a habit. I suppose I will need to try to find a happy medium between those two extremes once my office job begins in the fall, if I hope to make the gym a regular part of my routine again. 

Review: Elta MD UV Shield SPF 45

I bought the Elta MD UV Shield sunscreen quite a while ago, but I've only recently started wearing it often enough, daily for the last week and a half, to give a review. (It seems like I also neglected to include it in my monthly shopping budgets, oops! I ordered it right at the tail end of April after putting together my budget post for the month and forgot about it.) At $21.50 for the 3 oz size, it is a little pricier than a drugstore sunscreen would typically be, but is a fair bit cheaper per oz than the sunscreens I typically use from Shiseido and Biore's product line for Japan and Taiwan. 

Because the Shiseido one left a heavy white cast on the face after application and seems to have been reformulated without solving that problem, I've been looking for something new that is easy to buy in the United States. I've seen Elta MD mentioned on r/Skincare Addiction, and a friend also uses it and recommended it.

So far the Elta MD is working for me! As promised, it is invisible when rubbed in, and it absorbs very quickly. Although I typically prefer a lighter, liquid texture to my sunscreen (common with Asian products) and the Elta MD UV Shield is a lotion, the Elta MD feels light on the skin, though maybe just a touch heavier than the Biore one I like best. Either way, the Elta MD sunscreen is absorbed well enough that it doesn't cause any problems when I apply makeup. It also doesn't cause breakouts, which is the biggest thing I worry about when trying a new product. 

I generally don't like most American drugstore-brand sunscreens because they tend to sting on contact or when it gets in the eyes a while after application, often without my having gone out or done anything to cause the sunscreen to get in my eyes. I also dislike that heavier, lotion texture in sunscreens when they don't absorb well into the face. (I've tried an Oil of Olay moisturizer with sunscreen, the Neutrogena Ultra Sheer lotion sunscreen, and also Neutrogena's liquid formulation, all of which had various combinations of those problems.)

Pros: Absorbs well, doesn't cause problems with makeup application. No white cast on the skin after application. It doesn't cause breakouts for me. It is a good value compared to my other preferred sunscreens, especially in the 7 oz size.

Cons: More expensive than most drugstore sunscreens. It does feel a hair's-breadth heavier on the skin than the liquid-type Asian formulations I usually prefer. Some of the ingredients might exacerbate acne in others. 

Wear to Work: The Context

An earlier version of this entry briefly popped up on Feedly when I accidentally published it before I was ready. I've been mulling over whether I want to post this one for a while, because it isn't strictly on topic when it comes to the fashion and spending type things I usually talk about. As an aside, when it comes to writing about women's experiences and social equality generally, I confess to feeling a bit of trepidation, even if I've never personally experienced any backlash from anything I put online.

As a woman on the cusp of entering the professional workforce for the first time in my life, I am always looking to read more about women and work. Whether its about leaning in, letting go of having it all, women's confidence and career advancement (and how a "confidence gap" might exist for reasons beyond any individual woman's control) or about dressing for the workplace, I devour almost everything on the subject. Because I enjoy fashion, shopping, and thinking about what to wear, I have copious thoughts on the subject of workplace dress for women. Separately from that, however, I think that it is useful to think about why women might feel more pressure and receive more scrutiny regarding workplace sartorial choices than men. 

While sexism (whether direct, structural, or internalized) is hardly an ugly word that must not be spoken, in my brief working life thus far I often feel... disempowered when it comes to discussing it with classmates and colleagues. All this while working in a field that, in recent years, has dramatically fewer examples of problems with gender discrimination than most (it's no Silicon Valley tech industry, at least). I might be "outing" my field by going into even this much detail, but I will work in an industry where the largest companies pay all junior employees on an extremely standardized and ultra-transparent salary scale, at least until they're promoted into the upper echelons. Bonuses are generally standardized as well, both between and within companies, with very few upward or downward departures for "merit" or "performance"-related reasons. Five decades ago, women were generally not welcome, but the industry has come a long way. It isn't there yet, but I can safely assume that my salary and advancement will be equal for the first few years.

I have almost never experienced explicit and direct sexism in any form, though racism-"lite" (being treated differently based on what people assume about my background and because of the specific combination of my race and sex) is possibly another issue entirely. There is, however, a subtler questions which I present without having any real thought on whether it speaks to larger problems with society or the profession: