November 2020 Shopping Reflections

It may be premature to draft this post before some of the post-Thanksgiving Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales have begun. But given that any post-Thanksgiving orders I make will almost certainly be delivered after December 1 - and that I generally don't report purchases until I've made a final decision about whether to keep or return, with occasional exceptions for made-to-order items with a longer lead time - I think the tally for November should already be final.  

No surprises this month, my sole purchase is something from my planned shopping list for the rest of 2020. Preorders for The Curated's Classic Coat in camel (many sizes still available) opened in the first few days of November, a little earlier than I originally expected. Shipping was also remarkably fast, they sent out my package barely five days after I put in my order! 

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I'm satisfied with my Classic Coat purchase and I think the price is very fair, but my feedback also needs to be taken with a huge grain of salt because I likely won't get a real chance to road-test this coat outdoors until some time in 2021. As The Curated is a very small direct-to-consumer company - and each of their out-of-stock items seem to be on its own schedule when it comes to when the next preorder might begin - it can be a bit difficult to shop from them. I felt like I needed to follow their Facebook group (thank you to Kristy for recommending it!) and Instagram to keep track of things. But the company owner is very responsive in their Facebook group, and I'm sure their customer service team is responsive by email as well. 

Fashion - (TOTAL: $375.00) 

• The Curated Classic Coat, camel - $375.00 - The price of this coat for US customers is $350 and shipping costs $25. They generally use DHL to ship items from abroad, which may account for the significant shipping price, particularly with larger packages like coats. Much like the bloggers I linked to in my previous post about this coat, I really like it! The 70% wool, 30% cashmere blend feels nice and it's fairly thick and soft and drapes nicely over the body, even though the coat is unlined. I don't have experience with many good comparator items because wool or cashmere-blend coats with no synthetic fibers in the shell are not common at this general price point. 100% wool Fleurette coats on sale may be the only generally available thing fitting this criteria. A number of Fleurette designs get into the ~$350 range when discounted, for example at Hautelook or Nordstrom Rack here, here, and here. (I tried on a 100% wool shell Fleurette coat in 2018 and it felt nice, but was also a bit stiffer or more structured than this coat feels.) I own an older Polo Ralph Lauren coat (no longer available, worn here) - a generous birthday gift from my mom -  that's 90% wool, 10% cashmere and which started at ~$550, but went on sale for closer to ~$350 when my mom got it for me. That material is noticeably thinner; a little rougher to the touch; and drapes less well, even with a lining. I'm 5'3'' and roughly 38''-28''-38'' right now, and the size M of this Classic Coat was the correct choice, I think it fits exactly as intended. One thing to watch out for is that this coat is very straight up and down, it doesn't taper out at all around the hips, unlike most other women's coat designs. I think the smaller-than-expected hip measurement tends to be what throws things off for people who feel they ordered the wrong size. 

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the US! K and I are staying home, and we'll cook a special meal for just our household. We'll use Google Meet or FaceTime for a video chat with his parents and my family. K's cold symptoms last week were super-mild and fleeting, he's already feeling much better. But given the timing and our inability to get COVID-19 testing without additional indoor exposure to people outside our household, canceling our Thanksgiving plans was absolutely the correct and responsible thing to do.

As for Black Friday or Cyber Monday sales, I'll definitely only be shopping online, but that isn't too different from other years. The Reset is doing a 25% off discount code starting now, so I'll think about that polo sweater a bit more and possibly put in that order towards the end of the week. Recently, some sparkly slippers have caught my eye, like these colorful sequin Ugg "Scuffette" slippers (I particularly like the dark purple "medallion" color) or these gold glitter Birdies (mostly sold out, may not restock in time for Christmas), but I've never really liked wearing slippers at home when given the opportunity, so I think I should stay away from this idea. Plus, I'm not sure either shoe will be part of any special Black Friday or Cyber Monday sales. 

Getting Into Fountain Pens

Featuring the Sailor Pro Gear Slim, Yuki-tsubaki pen. I now have... a few more pens and inks now than I did back in July. Most of these inks are samples though, I don't own many full bottles.

I bought my first ever fountain pen - a Pilot Metropolitan - back in early July, after seeing Adina post about her favorite fountain pen inks. Since then, I've been completely enamored with writing and journaling with fountain pens. Though I've only been part of the fountain pen hobby for three months, the size of my collection is already formidable. And judging from various comments and posts in the many super-active online fountain pen communities out there, I'm far from the only person who started their participation in this hobby - and then escalated very quickly - during these recent months of COVID-19 social distancing! 

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Just the pens and bottled inks I mentioned in late July, including the ones sampled in the photograph - plus a converter for each pen that needs one, so I can actually use bottled inks - totals to a retail value of approximately $240 (including the dozen ink samples at ~$2 each). Everything discussed in that post was purchased at the US retail price. (Some Japanese pens and inks can also be readily obtained more cheaply from gray market sellers, including on Amazon, because they retail for significantly less in Japan.) And, ah, I now have... at least a few more pens and inks than in late July. In short, fountain pens can be a fairly expensive hobby. I'm even omitting the not-insignificant cost of fountain pen-friendly notebooks and paper! 

It's interesting to me to think about how this hobby and its associated online communities are similar to - but also different from - my fashion hobby and its relevant online communities. Though I can't exactly say I'm an expert in either hobby, of course. 

To tell the truth, I can barely even claim to be that knowledgeable about the relevant online communities either. Outside of keeping this blog and responding to comments here, I'm basically just a "lurker" or observer. I'm extremely shy - even when online and mostly anonymous - and only rarely interact directly with other people in any of these hobbies, whether on Instagram, Reddit, or otherwise. So my thoughts do need to be taken with that grain of salt.

Similarity: Lots of Small Businesses and Independent Creators to Support

Much like with fashion, there are many small businesses and individual creators and artists in the fountain pen space. Fountain pens are a fairly specialized, niche interest after all.

I mentioned in my recent money diary that I've been shopping online for some of my fountain pens, inks, and fountain pen-friendly notebooks from Yoseka Stationery, a small independent shop that's local to me. (They're great, and I highly recommend them!) From looking at Yelp, I understand there aren't many other brick and mortar stores in NYC that stock a wide range of fountain pens and inks. Fountain Pen Hospital may be the only dedicated fountain pen shop in the city. 

Super-large companies like Amazon do sell fountain pens and related supplies. Target even has a limited selection of slightly below-retail Pilot Metropolitan fountain pens and Pilot Iroshizuku fountain pen ink (only four colors, and only Take-Sumi and Asa-Gao are below retail at the time of this writing). Though it may generally be best to avoid such non-specialist retailers, at least for ink. When ink is not packed properly - as the specialized retailers generally all take special care to do - disaster can ensue. But I should note that most new fountain pens come in very secure packaging, generally in small padded boxes, so buying the pens themselves from a big-box retailer probably doesn't carry particular risk of damage in transit. I've read anecdotal comments about counterfeit Lamy pens on Amazon, however, so that's something to be aware of. 

There are also larger stationery or fountain pen online retailers that are still relatively small businesses, in the grand scheme of things. In addition to Yoseka Stationery, I've enjoyed shopping from Goulet Pens, Jetpens, and Goldspot. 

September 2019 Shopping Reflections

Since the last time I discussed my workload, things at the office have continued to become ever more hectic. Urgent international business trips are involved, though not for me at present - for which I'm grateful, because I have plenty to do here in NYC to hold down the fort for the team.

Separately, as you'll soon see, this was also a month in which I indulged in some extremely nice things for myself, continuing last month's trend. There are days when work-related stress makes me want to shop much more than I otherwise would. (On those days, I've generally been unable to find anything else I actually want to buy.) Then there are the days when I'm so mentally exhausted at the end of the day that even browsing online shops and daydreaming about pretty clothes is - quite frankly - too taxing to contemplate. (On those evenings, I mostly just watch random Youtube clips.)

The juxtaposition of these experiences has given me some food for thought regarding various lifestyle, money management, and career choices that I might make in the future. The nice things are - there's no denying it - really hecking nice. To use the KonMari parlance, they spark some joy for me. (Because I'm a bit materialistic and really enjoy having beautiful things to wear.) And I work hard to "earn" these indulgences, both in terms of hours billed and in the way I manage the rest of my finances. Among other things, I continue to make student loan payments totaling $3,950/month, every single month. (I have around 27 more months to go at that rate.) Additionally, I'm still contributing to my savings in similar proportions as last year.

But this financial state of things is fleeting. Most attorneys who start out in biglaw or biglaw-ish do not spend their entire careers there, and I'm ultimately pretty certain that I'm one of them. My own personal ambitions are such that I would very much like to be on another government pay-scale for a good long time again someday, starting sometime towards the end of the next decade or so. I hope to have children, and to prioritize saving for and spending on their education, the way my parents did for me, and K's parents for him. Both K and I also hope to always be in a position to extend some financial support to our parents - and potentially to some of our extended family - as needs arise.

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It's clear to me that, with all those financial and career-related choices that I would like to make, I won't always be able to indulge like this. Compared to all those other priorities of mine, the ability to indulge in fancy clothes, shoes, and accessories for myself does not rank all that highly. (Though I must also admit that I value the ability to shop for nice things more than most. Thus, I can probably always be expected to make more room for it in my budget than many other identically situated people would.)

Fashion - (TOTAL: $819.16)

• Alighieri Initial Spark Necklace - $332.07* - As I mentioned in July, I'd been mulling over a few options for a new Alighieri necklace, and was particularly interested in ones with a longer chain like this Initial Spark and some versions of the Odyssey. Given that this is my fourth Alighieri piece (I also have the Jaja necklace, the La Fortuna necklace, and the Surreal earrings), I'm clearly obsessed. The artist behind the brand, Rosh Mahtani, is brilliant, and I love her organic, antique-inspired designs. This necklace is exactly what I expected, with a longer chain that works well for the size of the pendant. The only detail I find slightly distracting - and this is not the fault of the design; it's likely not avoidable with any necklace around this length - is that the pendant clinks against my desk somewhat often when I'm seated at my computer. That doesn't stop me from wearing it to the office, though! 
• Vince Boiled Cashmere Funnel Neck Pullover, marble - $419.17* - Vince seems to bring this sweater back every year, in a slightly different set of colors. I've been interested in it for a while, ever since I noticed that my preferred size and color combinations were sold out by Black Friday last year. (This marble shade is the only lighter-colored neutral available at most retailers this year, except at Shopbop, which has it in gray.) As it's still quite warm in NYC, it's going to be a long time before I can wear this sweater outdoors. It's really soft, and I like the color. This sweater is a bit intentionally oversized around the body, but not excessively so. I got it in my usual S for more relaxed knitwear designs. Given that I have tons of nice sweaters, including from earlier this year, this should be my last new one in 2019.
• Marc Fisher Chang Loafer, black leather - $67.92* - I grind down my spring/summer shoes remarkably quickly, and as I mentioned in July, my supply was really starting to dwindle. Since then, my M.Gemi Felize driving moccasins (similar) are now on their last leg. It'll probably only be another few wears before there's a hole in the side of one shoe. My gold glitter Sam Edelman loafers continued ripping along multiple seams, and are now done for. Because it felt like there would be several weeks before I could pull out my ankle boots, I was getting desperate to add another pair of spring/summer workplace-appropriate shoes to my wardrobe. When I saw Michelle's recent post featuring these and her comments indicating that she liked them, and then I saw a good price at Nordstrom Rack, I bought these almost immediately. They fit true to size. The design is a touch more narrow than the Sam Edelman Lior or Loraine loafers, but not enough for me to size up from my usual 7.5. Right out of the box, these were comfortable to wear for an entire day, including on my walking commute. I realize now that they didn't make it onto my Pinterest shopping list before I bought them, though other things on the list make clear that I've long been thinking about more loafers. 

* Indicates that the price includes either shipping or sales tax. 

The prices on these items, particularly the sweater and necklace, were technically all reduced by Jewel cash-back rebates (referral link: if you sign up as a new user through my link and start earning cash back, we both get a $5 bonus). Because Jewel currently offers generous cash-back rates from Vince and Matches Fashion, I got around $16 back on the sweater and $23 back on the necklace. But, as always, I don't factor cash-back rebates into my monthly shopping posts because it wouldn't be consistent with how I do my personal accounting; I don't record them in YNAB until the cash back is actually paid out, which happens some months later.

How was your shopping month? Does work-related stress make you more interested in shopping? And if it does, is there also a level of work-related stress that causes the shopping urges to go away again, maybe because there's simply not enough extra time or energy one can spare to think about it?

A Shopping Survey

via - The Lo & Sons Pearl in Pacific Blue is one of my favorite and most functional  purchases from the past 12 months.

I've had a bit of writer's block lately, and I thought that this survey Elaine shared from the Good Trade (which covered groups of people who had spent under $500, $500 to $1,000, and over $1,000 on fashion last year) was a nice and slightly new spin on a way to discuss my shopping. Because I focus primarily on how I'm feeling month-to-month with my shopping check-ins, it's easy to lose track of longer-term trends and changes to my approach. My answers to these questions cover the past twelve months, from July 2018 to June 2019. 

In addition to my actual total spend for that period, I also threw in the number for how much I spent minus jewelry. In recent months, I'm starting to think of jewelry as a somewhat separate category from everything else in my closet, something which I enjoy collecting for its own sake rather than for practical reasons (almost like collecting wearable art, I suppose). With almost everything else, I'm far more inclined to think about utility and whether the item would be redundant of things I already own. But with jewelry, my desire for a new item is pretty much always a "want," there's never really a case to be made for it being a "need." 

Also, what I'm willing to spend on jewelry has been inching up towards being disproportionately large relative to what I'm currently willing to spend on most other categories for my wardrobe. There could come a time (it might already be the case now) when the jewelry portion of the total cost of my shopping each year distorts the analysis of how much I'm spending spend on clothes, shoes, and other accessories that I see as more utilitarian. 

Age: 30
How Much You Spent: $3,452.58
How Much You Spent (Minus Jewelry): $2,305.48

A Purchase You Planned: This is a surprisingly difficult question for me, given that I pride myself on "planning" every purchase! Most of my purchases in this one-year period - especially after I became more regimented about using Pinterest to track all my potential shopping - were planned out ahead of time by at least a few weeks. When everything is planned in a similar way, not much stands out as being a particularly good answer to this question.

I would say that the purchase I planned out the most in the past year was the Elizabeth Suzann Georgia dress and Asawa belt I received last month. I'd spent a lot of time thinking about all the ES dresses before I first saw a photo of this particular dress and belt combination and could finally make a decision. Because of the four week production time and ES's store credit-only return policy (though the secondary market for ES seems robust enough that one should have little trouble recouping close to the full cost of the store credit), I had to feel extremely certain about this purchase before I put in the order. And it turned out well, the dress and belt together really work for me, and it's a combination that I like wearing for both work and weekend. 

An Impulse Buy: This may sound contradictory to what I just said about how much planning I do with my shopping, but I also find this question difficult to answer because, in actuality, one of the main reasons why I spend all that time planning out purchases is that I'm otherwise very prone to sudden impulses and compulsions as a shopper. I know this about myself, and so I need to take those "extra" steps to rein those tendencies in. Enough of my purchases in the past year were originally inspired by fairly sudden impulses (even if I ended up sitting on the idea for at least a few days - usually at least a week or two - before letting myself go ahead and put in those orders), that it's hard to pick just one item as an answer to this question. 

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If I had to pick just one thing, I'd say the Sam Edelman Lior Loafers in gold glitter (similar) from November 2018 were my most impulsive purchase. I definitely wouldn't have gotten them if I hadn't seen them for a particularly good price during the Black Friday sales. I had an easier time putting these into my semi-regular rotation than I imagined, and I wore them almost once a week since I got them, mostly on casual Fridays. At the same time, maybe because these shoes are made of fabric backing under the glitter and not leather, they're not as durable as my other Sam Edelman loafers. There's a rip developing near a seam on one shoe. So this was initially a more successful purchase than anticipated, but also ultimately a little disappointing. 

A Year Later: The Shoes of Spring/Summer

Outside of my trusty FitFlops, the vast majority of the shoes I currently wear in the warmer seasons are approximately a year old. I bought my trusty Sam Edelman Loraine loafers in black leather (now on sale in limited sizes) last May, the same month I bought my somewhat impractical Soludos llama slip-on sneakers in pale pink canvas (discontinued, but discounted in navy blue or burgundy velvet). I'd bought my M.Gemi Felize in gold shimmer-effect leather that March (discontinued, similar gold leather). I also bought a pair of Rothy's Points last June, and was really hoping they'd be as durable for me as they are for many of my colleagues, such that I'd still be wearing them now. But alas, that was not to be, and I got barely a few months of heavy use from them before they started developing holes in the outer edges, the way all other ballet flats also tend to do on me.

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That was a lot of shoe shopping in just a few short months last year, but part of my rationale was that I wanted enough pairs that I wouldn't need to wear the same ones two days or more in a row, in hopes of getting more longevity from my shoes than I did before. Now that I've had most of my spring/summer shoes for a year (the Sam Edelman loafers also get worn in fall/winter, but not the rest), I thought it was a good time for an update on how these shoes were doing, whether I was actually getting a longer lifespan from them than before. Unfortunately, perhaps because of the styles I choose, or my wide feet and my manner of walking, or because I don't yet do much work to maintain my shoes, this update won't sound too impressive or exciting. While I don't think I'll need any new shoes for spring/summer this year, I don't expect that the shoes I currently have for those seasons will last too much longer into next year, particularly if I need my shoes to be presentable-looking at work.

Sam Edelman Loraine loafers, black leather: These have gotten the most wear by far, as I also use them frequently in fall-winter, so long as there's not too much slush and ice on the ground. I've gotten them reheeled once, within the first three months, but they haven't needed another visit to the cobbler since, though they'll need another trip there soon. In terms of physical condition and sturdiness, these loafers are holding up fairly well, having only accumulated a few small scuffs, just normal wear and tear. As I observed when I bought them, they're made of a very soft, pliable leather which makes them fairly comfortable if they fit your feet well, but likely isn't as good for their durability. In terms of aesthetics though, the leather is starting to look quite worn-in and dull because I haven't done anything to maintain them, outside of the one time I got them reheeled. (Not sure if this is the type of thing shoe polish is good for, as I'm completely clueless about shoe care and maintenance!) 

If I'm not able to learn how to maintain these loafers better, then I'm not sure how much longer they'd stay presentable-looking for work. It'd be a pity if I couldn't spiff up the leather a bit and get them looking better, since they've otherwise proven to be comfortable and sturdy. One additional note: From my experience with the gold glitter version, which are made of fabric rather than leather, the fabric ones are not as durable. A rip developed last month long one of the seams on one of my gold glitter loafers, and I'd generally only been wearing them once a week since I got them, so they hadn't seen anywhere near as much heavy use as my leather ones, which have not had this problem. 

M.Gemi Felize, gold shimmer-effect leather (similar): I'm very careful with these and never wear them out if there's any chance of rain, so they generally only end up getting used once a week, a little less often this year because we had a rainy start to the summer. I'd never before owned a pair of driving moccasin-style loafers with rubber pegs instead of an actual sole on the bottom, and I was a little concerned these shoes would wear out very quickly, but they haven't been too terrible on that front. It was only towards the end of last summer that some of the rubber pegs near the heel started getting close to being so worn down that the leather on the bottom of the shoe would start rubbing against the ground soon. The outer edge of my right shoe is also starting to rub against the sidewalk a little, thanks to my wide feet and the way I walk, though it isn't too close to developing a hole yet, it's just that some of the gold shimmer-effect on the surface has started to rub off. I think these shoes will last through part of next summer if I continue wearing them once a week-ish, though not too much longer than that.

As someone who doesn't have remotely adventurous tastes in shoes, I continue to find M.Gemi's business model perplexing, because it seems to be so focused on constantly developing trendy new styles, colors, and leather textures, including the shimmer effect on my loafers. They so rarely stock their more classic designs, like this Felize or the similar Pastoso, in neutral shades of leather. (I continue to resolutely avoid suede shoes of all kinds because I think they wouldn't do well on NYC's super-grimy sidewalks.) Even if M.Gemi's bread and butter is weekly releases of limited runs of exciting new styles, I suppose I'd imagine that it should still be a no-brainer to also consistently stock more classic, neutral shoes as well, since I'd have assumed there'd always be a market for those more "boring" designs, the kind that almost never go on sale from other brands either.

Soludos llama slip-on sneakers (navy velvet, burgundy velvet): Similar with the Felizes, I also try not to wear these out if there's even the faintest chance of rain. I'm almost more careful with these than the Felize because the pale pink canvas is so prone to getting dirty! I ended up wearing these about once a week last year, but have only used them once this year because we had such rainy and unpredictable weather for a while. As with the Sam Edelman loafers, when it comes to the physical condition of these slip-ons, they're holding up well. The only flaw they've taken on now is aesthetic, that they're already looking noticeably dingy despite infrequent wear, as can be expected due to their light color. With the llama applique and the cork-looking insole, I doubt these could be machine-washed like some other sneakers.

With slip-on sneakers like these, I'd expect them to be durable enough to last through a good long period of frequent wear, at least if they weren't a color that's prone to showing dirt and dust. I suppose I should have learned from that mostly-white pair of Keds I wore a lot back in 2015 to 2016 that slip-on sneakers in light-colored fabric are just not a very functional choice when one lives in NYC and does a ton of walking! I'd be better off with something like the black leather Vans I wore from 2016 to 2018.

Rothy's Points, gray birdseye: Well, I don't have these anymore because they weren't capable of enduring a full year of frequent use at my hands! It was such a big disappointment too, because they're not cheap, and they do also have some noticeable advantages over most other ballet flats I've ever tried. So many of my women colleagues really love these and have been wearing theirs frequently, including on their commutes, for ages, certainly well over a year. I'd hoped I would have a similar experience. Alas, I think it's just the way I walk, I grind down almost all of my ballet flat-style shoes with remarkable speed, in as little as a month or two of frequent wear. On me, these Rothy's points lasted around three months of 3-4x/week wear before they started developing holes in the outer edges.

I would still recommend Rothy's to other people who don't destroy their ballet flats the way I do. They're remarkably comfortable for a ballet flat, I was able to walk around NYC and stand in them all day most days, which I can no longer do with other ballet flats. I also loved how light and easily packable they are for travel. Being machine-washable (cold water wash and air dry only,  I'm told that any exposure to heat will cause them to shrink) was a huge plus, though because they're made of recycled plastic, they did make my feet sweaty, and the shoes would get quite smelly very quickly between washes. Being plastic and machine-washable, exposure to rain will not cause lasting damage, though I did hate how they felt on my feet when they were damp, so if I got badly rained on during my morning commute, I'd need to switch to other shoes at my desk for the rest of the day. (And they generally wouldn't be fully dry yet by the end of the day, when it was time to head home.)

What does a proper shoe care and maintenance regime, particularly for good leather shoes, look like anyway? I'm eager to learn, and any suggestions would be much appreciated (and of course, the internet provides many easily found and helpful resources for such things, which I'll also look into). Additionally, I'm still daydreaming about someday having a pair of those famous Gucci Jordaan loafers in black leather, after seeing, on another woman while we were both in an elevator, how much sleeker and more chic they looked compared to my well-worn Sam Edelmans. But I wouldn't dare buy a pair of shoes that fancy if I hadn't first learned to take scrupulously good care of them first!

Outfit Post: First Signs of Spring

Necklace: Porcelain and Stone Small "Uni" Necklace

Top: Grana Silk Raglan Tee (old)

Skirt: Uniqlo x J.W. Anderson Wrap Skirt, navy blue

Shoes: Sam Edelman Lior Loafer, gold glitter (old, similar design or similar color)

On the morning I was getting dressed in this outfit, I managed to accidentally navigate my phone to the weather for the California Bay Area, where I'm originally from, instead of for NYC, so I thought I was dressing for 55 degrees Farenheit and a clear, sunny day, instead of for something in the mid-40s with a chance of rain. It was only after I'd already put on the entire outfit that I realized I was looking at the weather for the wrong place, but I decided to wear it anyway, though with a wool-blend coat and these shoes (which hold up okay to rain and don't get dirty easily), instead of the pink canvas Soludos llama sneakers (only size 9 left for now) that I was originally planning on. 

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K joked that, if I was willing to speak to the Google Home and ask it what the weather was, I would not have had that mix-up on my phone. But I continue to categorically refuse to talk to my technology, much in the way I refuse to use Siri on my phone. It just feels too awkward to me, the idea of talking to a device! I'm pretty sure I'll never be willing to do it. 

Anyway, with a heavier coat, this outfit was reasonable for the weather we had that day. It was the first day I was able to wear my new Uniqlo x J.W. Anderson wrap skirt outdoors, and I was happy to find that it stayed put fairly well throughout the day, and that it was easy to adjust the way I liked without too much fussing in the morning. The tie did loosen up a little and the waistband did shift slightly by the end of the workday, but not so much as to be annoying, or to need any significant adjusting or re-tying throughout the day. It's a true wrap skirt, but with enough fabric that there's no real risk of a wardrobe malfunction. Although the size S of the skirt would have worked for me as well, and in fact, looked quite similar in the mirror, I picked out the size M so that I could wear the skirt a bit more relaxed at the waist if I wanted to. 

I really enjoyed wearing this outfit, and I loved wearing my new skirt. The look is quite simple, but it was nice to be able to go out with bare legs for the first time this year, even if I had a heavier coat on. 

Shopping Life Lately

Coat: Halogen Drop Shoulder Wool-Blend Coat, green storm, size S (not kept)

Tee: H&M Premium Quality V-Neck Linen Tee, old

Jeans: Uniqlo High-Rise Cigarette Jeans

Shoes: Sam Edelman Lior Loafer, gold glitter (sold out, similar)

Although I initially thought I might have enough feelings about Black Friday to dedicate an entire post to it (among other things, I was grouchy about the elitism I perceived in anything that sounded broadly judgmental and superior about anyone who has ever shopped any Black Friday sale ever), that has turned out not to be the case. All my feelings have long since dissipated, and any thoughts I had are certainly no longer timely or relevant. Instead, let me point you to Luxe's and Adina's thoughtful posts about various things to do with Black Friday and also a little bit about larger themes related to consumerism and personal finance. I very much appreciated having the chance to discuss my thoughts at their posts, and also on my own November shopping post.

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Well, maybe I'll point you to one more Black Friday-related thing, though it may seem a little silly, namely the aftermath of the sheer chaos with J.Crew's website throughout Black Friday weekend, seen in the comments threads here and here on their official Twitter accounts and here on their official Instagram. Because I don't often go looking for, er, customer service-related brouhahas on social media, I'm personally a bit taken aback by the volume and, shall we say, the intensity of some of the comments. I do empathize with their frustration, J.Crew's website really was close to nonfunctional that entire weekend, and the 50% off almost all items was somewhat special (typically the best discount is 40% off), especially given their new sales strategy of the past few months, which pretty much always excluded large and seemingly arbitrary categories of items, including the only item I actually wanted all that time, the Juliette collarless sweater blazer. I am a little taken aback, though, by how grouchy people got in a public way, particularly when they're mostly using accounts that appear to have some identifying information. (Not quite related to the J.Crew website outage situation, Elle has some good thoughts about recent business happenings at the company, the general takeaway being that they're continuing to go through some troubled times.)

As for this forest green Halogen coat I posted about, even though it was not discounted in any way for Black Friday, I still decided to order it around then because Nordstrom claimed to be running out of stock in what I thought might be my size. As you can see in the photos above, this will never be the coat for me. What is this, a coat for giants?!* All kidding aside, I was a bit shocked. Despite being on the shorter side at 5'3'', it's not actually that common for me to feel so dramatically swamped by regular-sizing coats. I suppose I should have anticipated this because it was clearly an intentionally oversized coat on the model, and the model must, of course, be significantly taller than yours truly. I sent this coat straight back.

*This is an attempted Zoolander reference. 

Please follow the link below for some thoughts about my recent window shopping for black leather ankle booties and fair isle sweaters, and the sources of inspiration for each, one of them rather incongruous.

November 2018 Shopping Reflections

Before I begin with this month's shopping budget post, let me just say, I have had some thoughts about Black Friday this year. We'll see if I ever get to writing about it, or if it ends up being one of my many ideas for blog posts here that I sit on and mull over until, all of a sudden, it's been a year and it would just be strange and untimely to go back and actually write it and post it. It's a far less weighty and important topic than so many of the other ideas I've had that are still waiting in the queue, so I guess the chances of my ever actually writing that Black Friday 2018 post are quite low. I definitely don't have any particularly special or revolutionary ideas about it, that's for sure.

For now, I'll just say that, as a purely practical matter, I'm largely on the same page as Luxe about Black Friday: It brings sales (and I like sales and track them closely), but it isn't typically something I get too excited about. There are, after all, so very many sales all year round, and many of those other sales at other times of the year give me better value for the items I'm in the market for when compared to what pops up around Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

One other thing that's part of my complicated feelings about Black Friday this year: I'll confess I felt some anger start bubbling up whenever I chanced upon something online that made it clear the author saw themselves as being above Black Friday and being above all those consumerist fools who shop during it (like this Buzzfeed thing, what relevance do photos from a decade ago have to the here and now?). More than almost anything else, I dislike snobbery and elitism (it's part of what motivates my strange, recurring complex about whether I'm being judged by others in my line of work for wearing modestly priced suits and work clothes), and I see elements of both in many a lofty statement or "hot take" about Black Friday.

Fashion - (TOTAL: $448.08)

• Alighieri Surreal Earrings - $195.20 - This month is a bit of a capstone to what's proven to be a year of getting obsessed with and buying jewelry, generally more expensive costume jewelry. These Surreal earrings have been one of my favorite designs since I first learned about Alighieri, so when I saw that they were part of the limited selection that was discounted for the brand's 30% off Black Friday sale, I jumped right on them. These are definitely sizable enough to make a bit of a statement, and are a little outside of my comfort zone with earrings, as someone who typically only wore pearl studs for years. They're actually not too heavy, though. Like all of my other Alighieri pieces (including the Jaja necklace, which is now on sale at Ssense for a much better price than I got), these earrings are beautiful. In terms of my minimalism-ish, I don't feel too bad about the jewelry I buy from small, artist-owned brands, as I'm supporting the artist and her work directly. (In addition to the Alighieri pieces I bought for myself this year, I also got the Porcelain and Stone Small Uni Necklace as a birthday present from my mom.) 
• Mejuri Dome Bracelet -$80.75 - As for my Mejuri purchases, which I got for 15% off during their Black Friday sale, they were also items I'd been thinking about for a while. I love the look of this bracelet. The clasp is a little fussy, sometimes one side of it loosens up during the day, but it's not fussy or impractical enough to make it distracting or annoying to wear, I don't worry that the bracelet will fall off or anything. One thing that I do notice every time I try a new Mejuri item, they're always smaller and lighter than I expect, which isn't the fault of the brand, I'm probably just inexperienced with buying dainty jewelry. 
• Mejuri Dome Hoops - $50.15 - A while back, I had ordered the Mejuri Bold Hoops to try, but returned them right away because they weren't quite as bold or weighty on me as I'd hoped. Among other things, I generally don't like "huggie" style hoops, where the entire hoop opens and closes when taking the earrings on and off, I just find it odd. They also weren't the right size for me and looked awkward, my piercings are a little too high on my earlobe for them to look quite right. So when the Black Friday sale rolled around, I knew that if any Mejuri hoop earring was going to work for me, it was going to be these Dome Hoops instead, and I really liked them once I received them. 
• J.Crew Juliette Sweater Blazer, burgundy - $74.00 - Well, I did say I'd probably get this as soon as I saw a 40% off discount or better, which eventually happened in the days leading up to Black Friday. And then on Black Friday, they switched it up to a 50% discount. I've pretty much already said everything I could possibly say about this item, including when I photographed it in an outfit a while back.
• Sam Edelman Lior Loafer, gold glitter - $47.98 - (other sale colors here and here) - This exact shoe from Nordstrom is old out, but the similar "Loraine" design is still available in gold glitter for a similar sale price at Lord and Taylor, and also at Zappos for a higher price. (As Elle mentioned, Nordstrom  is the only retailer to order this Sam Edelman shoe in the modified "Lior" design.) I bought a pair of Sam Edelman loafers in black leather in May, and they've become one of my favorite shoes. On that pair, the leather is extremely soft and a bit more "squishy" than on any other pair of leather shoes I've tried on in recent memory, which did make me worry about durability, but I haven't had any problems yet despite not babying them. These were, no doubt, an impulsive purchase. As I mentioned in March this year, I've long had an on-again, off-again interest in gold glitter flats, but had never seen any that fit the look I had in mind (I was envisioning a pair of ballet flats, or maybe a pair of smoking slipper-inspired flats). When I saw these glittery ones from Sam Edelman in a design I knew would work for me, and for a great sales price, I decided on a whim that I should get them, even though it's also not exactly the look I'd been thinking of. 

Did you shop any Black Friday sales this year? Am I the only one who gets oddly upset sometimes by some of the more judgmental Black Friday narratives out there? I don't know what it is that's making me  unusually sensitive about it this year!

Shoe Shopping

For the most part, I'm not much of a "shoe person". My taste in shoes leans boring and practical. Often, when I try to experiment with something even a bit more interesting, I end up not wearing them much because of some issue. (Everlane Modern Points that never break in, I'm looking at you!)

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I bought three pairs of shoes in 2017, but two (the Sam Edelman Tristan pumps and the Cole Haan Tali bow flats) were shoes that I generally only wear for more formal court occasions or for interviews, i.e. the most boring shoes ever. The third were a pair of "The Skinny" Fitflops to replace a three year old pair that were peeling at the soles, i.e. another pair of boring (but super comfortable) shoes. I bought more in 2016, but the successful purchases that year also fell squarely into the "boring" category. There was a backup pair of Sam Edelman Petty booties from a sale, which I only belatedly realized were a stiffer, less comfortable new tumbled leather rather than the original softer leather I was used to (the texture difference may be visible just from clicking between the two on Zappos). I've still managed to put the newer pair to use with black tights and my suits, and I still wear my old pair on bad weather days, or when I'll be in thicker socks. There was also a pair of perforated leather Vans, which weren't exciting, but were comfortable and practical. 

More recently though, and this is part of why my efforts to rein in my "joy"-driven shopping of the past few months may not be apparent until April at the earliest, I seem to be craving more interesting, fun shoes. To the extent that I indulge (and I have, a bit), I hope I end up with ones that prove fun and practical, and that I will actually wear. By now, I certainly know my own shoe preferences and needs quite well: ballet flats wear out incredibly quickly because of how I walk ad how much I walk so best not to get too extravagant; most heels prove to be a no-go and 3'' is about my maximum heel height; I'm rarely inclined to endure a painful breaking in period so if it takes more than a day or two, it may never happen (I'm talking about the Everlane Modern Points again); so on, so forth. So I should be capable of making smart shoe shopping decisions for myself. 

I had thought I would try a shoe that's more on the practical side, probably black leather loafers, most likely the Sam Edelman Liors as an attempt to get the general look of the famous Gucci loafers. I've been reluctant, however, because the first pair I tried (a near-identical, partially sold out Sam Edelman style, the Loraine), when I could only get a half size up from my usual, was both a bit too long and a hair too narrow, enough that the shoes might stretch to accommodate my foot, but would be uncomfortable in the process. This didn't bode well for how my actual size would fit. In the meantime, I've been distracted from the black leather loafer idea by two things that are quite different, more fun, but also far less practical.

First, I had mentioned my on-again, off-again interest in the M.Gemi Felize if it ever came back in a solid-color leather. Separately, I also had a long-ago interest in a pair of gold glitter flats, thanks in large part to a pair that my sister owned and that she bought while traveling abroad (so I couldn't copy her). Those interests managed to come together when I saw a recent release of the M.Gemi Felize in a gold shimmer leather. I'd never owned a pair of driving moccasins before with those little rubber stoppers as a sole, so I have no idea if those are generally durable or practical. The gold shimmer effect is also new to me and of unknown durability. I've had the shoes for such a short time that it's hard to say if I've been terribly foolish in getting them, though they've done well on the two days I've worn them out so far, including to walk between home and the office. 

Second, and much more suddenly and impractically, Soludos makes a pair of llama-decorated slip-on sneakers (recently restocked in a full size range). It's even made of velvet (a fabric I normally have no interest in). It's completely inconsistent with my usual taste in shoes, especially the ones that I actually wear. And yet, I confess... I really kind of want them. I'm going to wait at least a week or two before making an order, to see if my sudden passionate desire for them passes, because wow, they're quite a departure from my usual when it comes to shoes!

Are you a shoe person? Are driving moccasins actually very fragile shoes? (Hopefully not, because I've worn the M.Gemi shoes out already, and there's no returning them.)